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My blood for ink…

Welcome to the Cellar Door

Two Covenants-One God

*{In Galatians 4 Paul is going to use this story to present the 2 Covenants — the Old Covenant of Law, which he says is unto slavery.  And the New Covenant of Grace, which is unto Freedom.  These are symbolized by the 2 women who Abraham was involved with and the 2 sons born.  Ismael, a child of the law and slavery, and Isaac, the child of grace and promise, the child of freedom}*Genesis 16:1Now Sarai, Abram’s wife, bore him no children; and she had an Egyptianfemale servant, whose name was Hagar.Gen 16:2 And Sarai said to Abram, Because Jehovah has prevented me from bearing, please go in to my female servant; perhaps I will have children through her. And Abram listened to the voice of Sarai.*{God told Abram that the heir had to be from him.  But they were in their 80’s and were beyond the days of childbearing.  It was impossible, for sure through Sarai.  So Abram’s wife makes a suggestion — use the maid servant Hagar, and have a child with her.  And Abraham listened to the voice of his wife.  Sometimes this is a good thing to do, and sometimes NOT.  It was not good for Adam.  And this also turned out to be a bad choice for Abram.Gen 16:3 So after Abram had dwelt ten years in the land of Canaan, Sarai, Abram’s wife, took Hagar the Egyptian, her female servant, and gave her to Abram her husband to be a wife.
Gen 16:4 And he went in to Hagar, and she conceived; and when she saw that she had conceived,her mistress was despised in her eyes.
*{After Hagar became pregnant she began to despise her mistress.  This caused Abram to allow his wife to basically mistreat her and even to “run her off” for a while.  But God cared for her and told her to go back and submit to her mistress, and she did}*
Gen 16:5 And Sarai said to Abram, May the wrong done to me be upon you. I gave my female servant into your bosom, and when she saw that she had conceived, I was despised in her eyes. May Jehovah judge between me and you.
Gen 16:6 And Abram said to Sarai, Your female servant is now in your hand; do to her what is good in your eyes. So Sarai dealt harshly with her, and she fled from before her.Gen 16:7 And the Angel of the LORD found her by a spring of water in the wilderness, by the spring on the way to Shur.

*{The Angel of the LORD met her and encouraged her and made a prophecy about the child that would be born.  And that word has very much come true}*
Gen 16:11 And the Angel of Jehovah said to her,You have now conceivedAnd will bear a son,And you shall call his name Ishmael,Because Jehovah has heard of your affliction.
Gen 16:12 And he will be a wild ass of a man;His hand will be against everyone,And everyone’s hand, against him;And he will settle down opposite all his brothers.
*{Who is Ishmael?  The Muslim Arab people of the world proudly claim Ishmael as their “father”.  This is why Jews and Arab Muslims BOTH claim Abraham… the Jews through Isaac and the Muslim Arabs through Ishmael.  But consider the prophecy about Ishmael — 1) “A wild ass of a man” — TRUE; 2) His hand against everyone — TRUE; 3) Everyone’s hand against him — TRUE; 4) Settling down by his brothers — TRUE}*
Gen 16:15 And Hagar bore Abram a son, and Abram called the name of his son, whom Hagar bore, Ishmael.
Gen 16:16 And Abram was eighty-six years old when Hagar bore Ishmael to Abram.
Now — Consider Paul’s word in Galatians:Galatians 4:21 Tell me, you who desire to be under the law, do you not hear the law?

22 For it is written that Abraham had two sons, one of the maidservant and one of the free woman.

23 However the one of the maidservant was born according to the flesh, but the one of the free woman was born through promise.

24 These things are spoken allegorically, for these women are two covenants, one from Mount Sinai, bringing forth children unto slavery, which is Hagar.

28 But you, brothers, in the way Isaac was, are children of promise.

29 But just as at that time he who was born according to the flesh persecuted him who was born according to the Spirit, so also it is now.

30 But what does the Scripture say? “Cast out the maidservant and her son, for the son of the maidservant shall by no means inherit with the son of the free woman.”

31 So then, brothers, we are not children of the maidservant but of the free woman.

*{To try to be justified before God by keeping the law will bring you into slavery.  To rather believe God and trust Christ in you to transform you and to do IN you (by grace through faith) what you could never do in your own strength is 100% according to God’s New Testament economy — and brings us into a “glorious freedom” * We can never “make it” on our own or by our own strength.  But by the Spirit indwelling us, the “righteous requirements of the law” can be automatically, effortlessly and spontaneously fulfilled NOT BY us, but IN us (Rom 8:4)*

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Dawnless
by Benajah
(2019)

Dawn in New Iberia has
four lines of fire of mire
a’ dat hurricane seem to me as cloud of spoonbills
wallowing in the bad waters, ah the water, brackish

Dawn in Angola groans
St Francisville has no gargantuan well-lit spaces

No escapes
incisive betwixt the slants
for tankards of ambergris of pressganged affliction is

              Nothing but a mirage

No dawn arrives and no one receives it, neither breath nor sense
because daybreak and hope are not
Less upon occasion the uncompromising swarming glow overtake
“penetrate like drills and devour abandoned children.”

“Those who got out early know in their bones
there will be no paradise or loves that bloom and die;
they know they will be mired in numbers and laws,
in mindless games, in fruitless labors.”

The light is buried beneath chains self-formed link by link

And carry them for e’re
an anti-sight, anti-sound
As my throngs’ lurch sleeplessly through the Cyprus
“as if they had just escaped a shipwreck of blood.”https://theprose.com/BloodforInk

https://BloodforInk.com

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Have what I want

Schlepping every day in the stacks

A grain-grind that mocks my attempts

Holy the smell,

used fiction and non,

There is no greater comfort than words

that have

what I dont

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the great

Epigrammatic response to a holy man.

The Great General was flanked by his closest advisors as he approached a temple where a man stood in the way.

Out of the way, dont you know who this man is?

No.

He has conquered the world.  What have you done?

I have conquered the need to conquer the world.

The young Macedonian looked deep into the man’s eyes, sadly it seemed, as though he had a great weight bearing down on his thoughts.

As twin plumes of the man’s blood wet the passing King’s cloak he could be heard, “like pithy sour grapes” and then the rough equivalent of “fuckboy.”  It sounds better in an ancient form of Greek that’s grammatically closer to Slavic.

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Flesh Wounds

Resist

Blue blood availing

watch the end in slow motion

then lick it

and keep on resisting.

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Dope Writers

Drug and alcohol addiction can batter anyone. Of course, some are more susceptible than others, and writers are notorious for having some sort of addiction. Whether it’s alcohol to numb the noise from the world or speed or LSD to “inspire” them, the bohemian yet lonely world of the writer or poet is a minefield.

Robert Louis Stevenson

In just six days, Stevenson wrote 60,000 words. The reason was cocaine, and he wasn’t well at the time. Of course, the drug mentioned in The Strange Case of Dr Jekyll and Mr Hyde involved a white powdery substance.

Philip K. Dick

Anyone who knows sci-fi will recognize this writer; if you’ve read his books, you’ll realize they’re pretty warped. Dick took a lot of speed and other substances throughout his writing career to enhance his productivity.

Aldous Huxley

Author of A Brave New World, this literary great took large amounts of mescaline and came up with works of pure brilliance. He was even introduced to LSD and mushrooms.

Hunter S. Thompson

A renowned journalist, he immersed himself in the scene. He also immersed himself in mescaline, LSD, cocaine, alcohol…the list goes on and on.

Jean-Paul Sartre

This French genius did pretty much everything that was possible with a pen and a typewriter. Including chopping up amphetamine.

Ken Kesey

One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest, and he was certainly flying high on LSD when he wrote this. He became a lifelong psychedelic drug advocate.

John Cheever

A Pulitzer Prize-winning author, Cheever drank heavily partly to repress his bisexuality. Although he died in 1982, he did have some success in giving up drink thanks to therapy.

Tennessee Williams

Another alcoholic, Williams is one of the best playwrights America has ever seen. Cat on a Hot Tin Roof is perhaps his best contribution, and it includes many of the major elements of his life, including mental illness and a love of drink.

Dylan Thomas

A Welsh boy who grew up into a poet, Thomas is known for his prose and for his short life. He died at the age of 39 thanks to his excessive drinking.

Stephen King

The master of horror and cocaine, King churned out thousands of pages of work year after year. His family staged an intervention and showed him how his habits were getting out of control.

William S. Burroughs

Most famous for his book titled Junkie, Burroughs was a heroin and opioid addict. He even accidentally shot his wife in the head under the influence after persuading her that a William Tell-like routine would be a good idea. It really wasn’t.

Jack Kerouac

On the Road was a great book, but it was written partially from an autobiographical point of view. Benzedrine features heavily.

Thomas de Quincey

De Quincey didn’t just write about opium; he lived it. His book Confessions of an English Opium Eater earned him widespread notoriety.

Edgar Allan Poe

Greatest poet of the nineteenth century, Poe died in mysterious circumstances. It’s almost certain that his addiction to alcoholdidn’t help him.

Hubert Selby

Heroin and other painkillers were the demons of Requiem for a Dream, and they also hit Selby hard.

Truman Capote

Breakfast at Tiffany’s may have been a bestseller, but a couple of martinis for breakfast was what fuelled him.

William Faulkner

A Nobel Prize-winning author, Faulkner drank to escape everyday life. He did state that he never drank while writing, though.

F. Scott Fitzgerald

Died at the age of 44 thanks to an alcohol-induced heart attack, the Great Gatsby writer produced numerous fantastic books despite his incredibly heavy drinking.

Charles Baudelaire

Baudelaire wrote Flowers of Evil (Fleurs de Mal), which was a swipe at the industrialization of Paris. He translated a lot of Poe’s work while enjoying his hashish habit.

Samuel Taylor Coleridge

Coleridge is perhaps best known for Kubla Kahn, which was inspired after an opium dream. Unfortunately, he carried on with his opium habit, which would kill him.

Charles Dickens

Writer of the most famous Christmas novel of all time, Dickens wasn’t so much food, glorious food as opium smokable opium.

William Yeats

Yeats was an Irish poet who experimented quite vigorously with pot. He developed a hash addiction but managed to kick it.

Earnest Hemingway

Hemingway is another great twentieth-century author who drank and drank thanks to a serious undiagnosed condition. He committed suicide in 1961.

Dorothy Parker

Known for her acerbic wit and satire, Parker became dependent on alcohol to fuel her work, particularly after her left-wing convictions put her on the Hollywood blacklist.

Allen Ginsberg

A well-known drug advocate and writer, Ginsberg took LSD and pot, and he encouraged the demystification of these drugs. His poetry reflected this on many occasions.

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Dope Novels


“I saw the best minds of my generation destroyed by madness,
starving hysterical naked,
dragging themselves through the negro streets at dawn
looking for an angry fix…”

—Allen Ginsberg, Howl (1956)

Thanks to a spate of lurid headlines (Cannibals! Zombies! Demonic Possession!) over the last few weeks, drug-induced psychosis is clawing its way back into public consciousness as Social Evil No.1 – if it ever really went away.  We may never know what caused Rudy Eugene to chew off 75% of Ronald Poppo’s face in Miami on the 26th of May, but the collective media finger of blame has been jabbed at “bath salts”, the street name for concoctions of amphetamine-related compounds sold as personal hygiene or cleaning products under innocuous-sounding names like Ivory Wave, Red Dove, Blue Silk, Cloud Nine, Ocean Snow or Vanilla Sky.

Bath salts have provided a convenient bête noir for outraged tabloid reporting for the last couple of years, a way of making connections between those anomalous “Man Bites Dog” (or Man Dressed In Bra and Panties Kills Goat) stories that would otherwise get lost in the ‘Random WTF’ files.  Whether users are car surfing naked, eating their roommate or ripping out their own intestines and throwing them at police, the presence of bath salts in their system makes them part of a collective trend, shared time and time again on social media, and fuel for a growing moral panic. 

As a society, we find it difficult to accept that people do crazy things.  That has unfortunate implications for our (lack of a) mental health care system.  It’s much easier to believe that people only do crazy things on drugs, tipped over the edge by psychosis-inducing substances they have willingly ingested, despite all warnings to the contrary.  Before bath salts led the pack in the blame game, crystal meth, crack, PCP, LSD, reefer madness, cocaine, opium and gin have all had a spin on the scapegoat carousel.  Historically, of course, none of these drug menaces has actually destroyed society, or even a generation, but they generate great copy and headlines, and over the centuries, have provided the narrative spine for some extremely lurid books. 

In fiction, writers have always reached for the “drugs made me do it” device when it’s time for an otherwise rational character to do a crazy thing.  It’s quick and easy.  From the magical flower juice in A Midsummer Night’s Dream that causes a queen to fall in love with a donkey to the amyl-based hallucinogenic cocktail in Hannibalthat compels Mason Verger to slice off his face with a shard of mirror and then feed it to his dogs (“Well, it seemed like a good idea at the time”), drugs are a convenient way of making a character behave out of character, with maximum dramatic effect.

For the aficionado, however, there is also a whole sub-genre of popular fiction that acknowledges that there is nothing quick or easy about a drug fix, and that addiction is an integral part of a character’s essence, rather than a temporary aberration.  Part confession, part cautionary tale, part panegyric, these books feed into readers’ desire to learn about the boundaries of human experience from the safety of the middle.  We may not be prepared to risk our own health and sanity in the pursuit of the ultimate high, but we sure like to read about those who did, and who, ideally, lived to tell the tale. 

On one end of the spectrum is the refined, scientific prose of Aldous Huxley’s The Doors of Perception (1953), his account of a fine May afternoon spent in West Hollywood under the influence of mescaline.  He admires flowers in a vase, browses art books in a drug store, listens to classical music, and has a nice sit down in the garden.  Huxley’s experience is all about accessing a higher consciousness, using the influence of the drug on his normal sensory perception to open himself up to greater truths.  It’s all very intellectual, all very noble, and about as far from naked cannibalism on the MacArthur Causeway off-ramp as it’s possible to get.

At the other end of the spectrum are the self-proclaimed Bad Books, the ones that go deep into the dirty nasty.  Mostly autobiographical, they’re front-line dispatches from the war on drugs declared long before Nixon signed it into law in 1971.  Salacious, sensationalist and sometimes very sad, these books tap into the damaged psyches of users and abusers, offering up a plethora of perverse pleasures to the armchair tripper.  They take us through garbage-strewn alleyways, piss-smelling staircases and into the fetid apartments only an addict would willingly frequent.  They put us in dangerous, stupid and criminal situations only an addict would voluntarily risk.  And they hint at the paroxysms of ecstasy only an addict can aspire to (“Take yir best orgasm, multiply the feeling by twenty, and you’re still fuckin miles off the pace” – Trainspotting).  Here’s a Top Ten of those mucky puppies, definitely to be handled with latex-gloved care.  You know only too well the kind of filth and degradation these stories have been through.

1. ‘Confessions of An English Opium Eater’ (1821) by Thomas De Quincey

The granddaddy of them all, De Quincey’s Confessions conjures up the world of the Romantic poets and painters, where opium dreams were an integral part of serious creative business – neither Frankenstein nor Kubla Khan could have been written without them.  Intensely autobiographical, it deals with both the Pleasures (“I sometimes seemed to have lived for 70 or 100 years in one night”) and the Pains (“I was kissed, with cancerous kisses, by crocodiles; and laid, confounded with all unutterable slimy things, amongst reeds and Nilotic mud”) of laudanum, the opium-alcohol tincture popular at the time.  It made De Quincey an instant sensation, and was wildly influential – unfortunately too many readers focused on the Pleasures, rather than the Pains section.   Buy Confessions of an English Opium Eater from Amazon.com

2. ‘Diary of A Drug Fiend’ (1922) by Aleister Crowley

Despite its tabloid-baiting title (and, boy, did the tabloids go into a frenzy upon publication), this thinly-disguised autobiography from Crowley contains an honest and insightful depiction of addiction.  He wrote it not only for the quick cash from publishers, Collins, but also as a riposte to the Dangerous Drugs Act of 1920 which made opium (and all its derivatives) and cocaine illegal. Crowley had been using these substances in his magickal and philosophical workings for many years and resented being criminalized or diagnosed as suffering from a disease.  The titular “Fiend” is actually WW1 flying ace, Peter Pendragon, knighted for his aerial dynamics against the Boche.  Bored and directionless after Armistice Day, he falls in love with prototype Bright Young Thing Louise Laleham, who introduces him to the all the highs and lows that heroin and cocaine can offer them across the hotspots of post-war Europe.  Eventually, the drug fun grinds to a halt and the young couple turn to King Lamus, a magickal adept who teaches them that human Will can overcome anything, even chemical dependency. 

3. ‘Naked Lunch’ (1959) by William S. Burroughs

Bombastic, blustering, boot-in-your-face Burroughs doesn’t pull any punches in his Beat-driven account of a (mainly) heroin addiction that crosses time and space.  Are you tough enough to take it?  In the introduction, he implies that he doesn’t want the reader to enjoy his work (“it is necessarily brutal, obscene and disgusting.  Sickness has often repulsive details not for weak stomachs”).  Written in a hotel room in Tangier, when (Burroughs claims) “I had not taken a bath in a year or changed my clothes or removed them except to stick a needle every hour in the fibrous grey wooden flesh of terminal addiction,” Naked Lunch is less a novel, more a blend of dream, digression, delusion and diatribe.  A mélange of junk, sex (including an orgy), social critique and self-loathing, strung out in loops of logic and location that only make sense to the loaded. 

4. ‘A Clockwork Orange’ (1962) by Anthony Burgess

From the first page, when he and his droogs sip on their “milk plus something”, Alex DeLarge’s impulses are inextricably linked to his drug consumption.  Although he knows his hallucinogens (“vellocet or synthemesc or drencrom or one or two other veshches which would give you a nice quiet horrorshow fifteen minutes admiring Bog And All His Holy Angels and Saints in your left shoe with lights bursting all over your mozg”) he thinks that tripping your tits off in a mesto is, at the end of the day, “very cowardly”.  He prefers stimulants that will enhance his capacity for a bit of the old ultraviolence.  Alex enjoys anything that heightens his sensory awareness, whether he’s listening to Beethoven, raping underage girls, or conducting a home invasion with a few close friends.  However, Burgess weaves drugs into Alex’s rise and fall; our hero is prevented from running amok any more by being chemically castrated (“this Ludovico stuff was like a vaccination and there it was cruising about in my krovvy, so that I would be sick always for ever and ever amen whenever I viddied any of this ultra-violence”) – or so he thinks. Buy A Clockwork Orange from Amazon.com

5. ‘Fear And Loathing In Las Vegas: A Savage Journey to the Heart of the American Dream’ (1972) by Hunter S. Thompson

Thompson’s autobiographical account of a trip to Vegas on a press junket for the annual Mint 400 desert race – with what  “looked like a mobile police narcotics lab” in the trunk of the rental car – is by turns hilarious and terrifying.  The protagonist, Raoul Duke, brings along his Samoan attorney, Dr. Gonzo, plus

“…two bags of grass, seventy-five pellets of mescaline, five sheets of high-powered blotter acid, a salt shaker half full of cocaine, and a whole galaxy of multi-colored uppers, downers, screamers, laughers and also a quart of tequila, a quart of rum, a case of Budweiser, a pint of raw ether and two dozen amyls.”

Together they embark on what can only be described as a rampage, “burning the locals, abusing the tourists, terrifying the help”.  Thompson’s coruscating, manic prose captures the mayhem perfectly, never letting the pace of their paranoia slacken, but never losing his grip on the satiric thread that gives their adventures at least some structure.  Fear And Loathing… is simultaneously an insane head-trip and a sober commentary on “this doomstruck era of Nixon”. Despite the marauding bats, lizards, weasels and a detour through Circus-Circus (“what the whole hep world would be doing on Saturday night if the Nazis had won the war”), Duke and Gonzo persist in their search for the American Dream.  So much more substance (and substance abuse) than all The Hangover movies made and still yet to be made, rolled into a skinny 124 pages.

6. ‘A Scanner Darkly’ (1977) by Philip K. Dick

Dick’s dystopian noir vision of a future (1994) society split between straights and addicts of the psychoactive Substance D (nickname: death) is based on his personal experience of drug abuse in Orange County in the early 1970s.  After his fourth wife left, he invited various street kids to come and live with him so that his house didn’t feel so large and empty.  He soon became dependent on amphetamines and immersed in the slang and rhythms of their alternative culture.  It’s obvious that Dick identifies with Fred/Arctor, the narcotics double agent at the center of the narrative who is living undercover in a junkie house, and is slowly becoming addicted to Substance D himself.  It’s a dangerous position to be in:

“What an undercover narcotics agent fears most is not that he will be shot or beaten up but that he will be slipped a great hit of some psychedelic that will roll an endless horror feature film in his head for the remainder of his life, or that he will be shot up with a mex hit, half heroin and half Substance D, or both of the above plus a poison such as strychnine, which will nearly kill him but not completely, so that the above can occur: lifelong addiction, lifelong horror film. He will sink into a needle-and-a-spoon existence, or bounce off the walls in a psychiatric hospital or, worst of all, a federal clinic.”

After the two hemispheres of his brain stop communicating, thanks to the permanent neurophysical damage wreaked by Substance D, Arctor ends up in his worst nightmare, forced rehab.  Bleak, uncompromising, elegiac, A Scanner Darklyis probably Dick’s best novel, but he had to put himself through hell to write it.

7. ‘Requiem For A Dream’ (1978) by Hubert Selby, Jr.

Even more bleak is Requiem for A Dream.  Selby explores addiction as it affects the lives of a loosely linked quartet – Sara Goldfarb and her son Harry, his girlfriend Marion and his friend Tyrone.  Over three seasons in New York City, their lives disintegrate thanks to narcotic influences.  While Harry, Marion and Tyrone fall victim to heroin, Sara’s poison of choice is diet pills and her story is the saddest.  She has very little conception of what is happening to her and why, even when psychosis hits and she’s locked away and subjected to electric shock treatment.  Nobody else gets a happy ending either, with jail, prostitution and a nasty amputation on the cards.  Selby takes the reader unflinchingly through the characters’ chain of bad choices, and their continued misunderstanding of the threat they face. “He didn’t know what was defeating him, but he sensed it was something he could not cope with, something that was far beyond his power to control or even at this point in time comprehend.”  Quite possibly the saddest book you’ll ever read.

8. ‘Trainspotting’ (1994) by Irvine Welsh

By contrast, Trainspotting is almost joyous.  A loosely-linked series of vignettes and characters, it’s a celebration of male friendship and youth culture in Britain in the late 1980s, as well as an exploration of the dark side of hedonism.  The central characters are all addicted to something – mostly heroin, but with alcohol, amphetamines and violence thrown into the mix.  To some extent, Welsh’s Edinburgh is a manifestation of Burgess’s dystopia from A Clockwork Orange.  Renton, Spud, Sick Boy, and Tommy could all be droogs to Begbie’s Alex, but they exist in a bitterly realistic world of unemployment, poverty, HIV infection and cot death.  And opium suppositories that Renton must retrieve from the most disgusting blocked toilet in literary history, the “bowl fill ay broon water, toilet paper and lumps ay floating shite”:

“Ah roll up ma shirt sleeve and hesitate only briefly, glancing at ma scabby and occasionally weeping track marks, before plunging ma hands and forearms intae the brown water. Ah rummage fastidiously and get one ay ma bombs back straight away. Ah rub off some shite that’s attached tae it. A wee bit melted, but still largely intact.”

Although Welsh can be compassionate towards his characters when necessary (particularly those who have to deal with the all-too-common drug related death of a loved one), Renton, his main narrator, is as caustic as Thompson when it comes to describing the under-the-influence antics of his friends.  Trainspotting resonates with a slick, sick sense of humor.  It’ll put you off a lot of things for life.

9. ‘Crank’ (2004) by Ellen Hopkins

So much of the drugs oeuvre is so macho, it’s refreshing to read a story about and from the female perspective.  Hopkins based the oft-banned book on her own daughter’s four-year battle with crystal meth.  In free verse, she charts the slide into substance abuse of  “perfect daughter: gifted high school junior, quiet, and never any trouble” Kristina, whose first and main mistake is to fall in love with the wrong boy, Adam.  With soap opera-unseemly speed after her first hit of crank (supplied by Adam) Kristina (who starts to refer to herself as Bree) is hurled through the looking glass into a world of suicide attempts, rape, a stint in juvy hall, Mexican connections, meth-dealing and, to top it all, pregnancy.  Kristina/Bree is as confused as any other teenage girl, but Hopkins makes it chillingly clear how her meth use amplifies the usual adolescent folly into tragedy.  There’s no glamorization of the lifestyle here, Crank is cautionary tale all the way:

“you fly until you crash two days
two nights
no sleep,
no food,
come down off the monster
YOU CRASH REAL HARD”

Even if you’re a seasoned Breaking Bad fan, Crank hits much, much harder than you might expect from a book aimed primarily at middle school girls.B

10. ‘Eating Smoke: One Man’s Descent into Drug Psychosis in Hong Kong’s Triad Heart­land’ (2011) by Chris Thrall

Former Royal Marine Thrall charts the by-now familiar downward spiral into meth psychosis in this candid memoir about navigating “the world’s most unforgiving city while addicted to the world’s most dangerous drug”.  It’s set in Hong Kong, in the couple of years immediately before the Handover to China.  No one knew what kind of limits Beijing would impose on its newest territory come July 1st 1997; in the underground dance clubs of Wan Chai it was time to party like it was the end of the world.  Thrall’s story is of the innocent who got lost in these hedonistic woods, describing himself as “not a stupid guy, just an average guy who does stupid things”.  After his network marketing business is a bust, he sinks through a couple of layers of low-paid ex-pat gigs before landing as a nightclub doorman.  At first, it’s a great way to meet people and chat up girls – working and regular –  but soon he finds himself doing ice (known locally as ‘bing’) in order to stay awake for his shifts and his new 72-hour party pals.  And then more ice.  And then more, until he stops sleeping, starts losing job after job, his apartment and his grip on reality.   And realizes he’s employed at an establishment run by the notorious 14K Triad gang, who are pissed at him.  Thrall’s always a likable voice, even when he’s taking the reader on one of his most hyper-paranoid trips, and you will root for his survival and redemption.  He captures the underground heartbeat of a crazy city at a crazy time.

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Durability

I didn’t really know what a gypsy was.  I’d been called one and it had been bandied about like a descriptor of something that one didn’t want to become, but damn it I had become one despite all my education.

They sprawled about on those couches that my mother wouldn’t have touched, perchance she wouldn’t have ever come into this place at all.  I don’t know now much about her, there is hole in my psyche, where I had stored my time in the military and my time on the streets.  All that remained now was the urgent need to never let anyone know where I was.  I used a series of phones, the flip phone variety because one thing I was sure of, they were coming for me to. Who “they” were I didn’t know, I hadn’t seen a psychiatrist in 8 years and my business was thriving.  Hand to mouth I was not.  Out in the Rhymes cemetery I would bury my cash exchanged for gold.  One thing I was sure of was that gold wasn’t going to lose favor if and when the Apocalypse came.  I hunted bad men.  I hunted them like I was one of them.  I knew what they knew and knew how they thought, I guess I had exchanged memory for this knowledge in some sort of barter that had happened while I was asleep.

            I woke up in the Pie-in-the-Sky Motel off off of A1A. I was soaked in sweat and knew that I had to get to work.  I got sick of a sort when I didn’t work, like a doper off of his dope.  I guessed I was a doper too, but I didn’t identify as such.  Mainly I just got girls who were on dope out of the situations that they were in and it took a degree of dissociation to do the work so I had a combo of drugs that I took to keep moving.

            Thump. Thump.  Thump.  The thump resonated into my bones and I was scared Sick.  My hermit like ways were very non-threatening .  My main objective in life was not to be found.  I found but didn’t want to be found. Skulking around strip joints and motels like this was fine, hoodie on hat pulled down over my often-shaved visage. The door wasn’t of the stolid variety, it was more of two pieces of ply-wood or pulpwood held together by a wish.  Who knew I was here.  I had a gun, but it was buried down the street behind a vacant lot.

“Thomas”

My name wasn’t Thomas, I had several, but Thomas wasn’t one of them.

            It was the old man in the room next to mine.  He had given me a drink of rot-gut vodka the night before as I was trying to slip in out of the one eye of the one camera on the premises. Paranoia was just part of who I was now. I lived in a different motel almost every night and I had an encrypted email that I could use at any library or UPS store.  Sometimes I would ask to use a person’s laptop and give them a coffee for the trade. 

“Go away bro.”

I avoided mirrors because they seemed to tell me about myself.  Things I was trying to escape.  Parts I didn’t or couldn’t remember.  All that seemed to matter now was the job, my existential essence was to make the world better.  Just a little bit.  I read history books mainly, I stole them from libraries in Phoenix and Rayville and Ft. Lauderdale.  I doubted there was anyone out there missing me, because I thought I would remember if that was the case.

“Thomas” 

Louder now and more insistent. I opened the door pulled the old man, now not looking as old as I remembered and unloaded a really overly brutal set of licks to his nose and the sweet spot where the lobe of the ear was.  No doubt he would have to get his jaw wired up.  He wasn’t a regular old man but until he was slumped in the corner could I see that his teeth were perfect and the dirty brown coat he was wearing was Brooks Brothers.

“Fucking fuck.”  The sound of my own voice was hard to swallow, I had not heard it in days, while I was on the move.  Trains, busses and sketchy cars for cash deals was how I got around and it didn’t require much in the way of speaking.

“Thomas.” He was still awake, and I shuddered profoundly, his face now in my mind’s eye and I couldn’t escape.  Everyone had a story and if he got it out on the table then I would have to respond.  I was linked to stories.  They had some sort of power over me.  If I heard it, I had to respond, and this asshole was fixing to give one to me.

Lynchburg, Tennessee

            She was old enough to know better.  I knew this wasn’t some 10-year-old.  She was old enough to make up her own mind, but the Mexicans had her on dope and she couldn’t make up her own mind.  Deep in the crevices of my psyche was another girl, married with kinds of her own now but I placed her face on the story, so I could make it real enough to move me.

My voice was telling the story, but I was miles away.  I knew Lynchburg, Tenn. I’d been there.  Shed blood there. Been on  a ripping drunk in that Tennessee town. I had sat in the train station for hours.   Waiting on waiting.  On some sort of ethereal memorandum to be handed down from whoever was in charge of such things.

“Lacy, we done told you girl, that you couldn’t stay here.”  She had enough Fentanyl to last for 2 days when she had her move.  15 years old and barefoot.

“They got me tied to bed, woman.

“You don’t look tied up anymore.

Regina stood 5’1 but she had two dogs and that just smelled blood.  All the time.  They slept in her bed, often as not lounging as only uncut dogs can.  Waddle legs-on their back, with their full scrotal sack to examine.  A big light bragging and little like begging at the same time.  When Regina was 18 she had a littler of Thibodaux bulls that she cut them all and she would give the lot of em for just Eli. The uncut one.  The other was a bitch, she got around the neighborhood pretty good and Gina, called her whore, who wasn’t of herself a saint.

”Did you do something to get tied up in a chain to a bed?”

The girl twirled on the  ball of her right foot.  “Did that  just come out of your mouth?”  

“I mean did you steal something.”

“No stupid idiot I have been abducted.”

The door was closed slowly with one of the two dogs growling a warning.

The natural red headed bombshell stood on the porch in a city she knew for 30 or 40 hours and cried and wanted a phone SO damn bad.  Everything seemed mauve or light light tan.  The light couldn’t really be switched on or off.  It was, obviously playing up to the reality.  She had been interested in philosophy and had spent the previously summer research ithe best colleges.   She would go to Hollins but now, now she wondered if she had been scarred, knew to much that she could never unsee despite the best psychiatrists, the best change of sceneries.  She was already a pickle, never to be a cumber again. 

I didn’t feel sorry for her so much as I probably should.  I felt sorry for her dad and the 20 large he paid me to go find out where she was and take pictures.  Within moments of leaving he’s vacation house in Hilton Head, his next read double it to bring her home, I will cover all your medical and legal bills if it comes to that, but you bring her back….so Ill Venmo you the money now.  Just try to leave people alive please. Don’t kill anyone and it shouldn’t be so complicated as to have to kill anyone.

It was.

I did.

But to that later.  

I came through to Lynchburg by way of an unneeded trip to see my alma mater. Sewanee was grander than I had ever been.  I was a piece of shit who wanted to go to sleep forever but I like to think that deep down, far back I had been a good guy.  A back-slapping sort of guy.  One who got more attention from his teachers as he did the dudes and girls he saw every day  at school.  How does a generation just wear one down?

I knew I had been in the war and once in DC I went to a bar accidentally that was basically go VFW.  I think that was as close to therapy as I ever really got.  What I did now—sure there is some self-condemnation but for the whole I am just trying to help other people and it is not the easiest thing in the world to do.  Most don’t want to be saved.  Most just want that next fix.  Ive deployed Narcan 16 times and got punched 5.   Lynchburg got outta hand.

She ran till a large rock sat itself in her right foot.  That point where the far of the ball meets the soft arch.   She stopped hard.  The call to her aunt was short.  The man across from the house of her friend was a good dude and let her make a call.

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Sinistral spectacle

The Consciousness of Specters in an Age of Pity

For eons we had been without lives of our own.  Life was, not could be or wouldn’t. The uncut of consciousness was open to the world and nothing divided us from the rest of creation.   Then of a sudden, of a chance, of a time we looked and saw them somehow.  How long they had been or to what end we knew not, just a line where none had been.  We had flourished, it seemed; they had not.

Something began to change and only we noticed. It happened over fathomless compeers. The cyphers of a divisional revision without forewarning were being writ ever more deeply into our minds.  We plotted. As their species moved in typical rhythms, we began to see lines.  We began to hide our tracks and they began crossing borderlines. Lines. Borders that were no longer imaginary.  Imagination was born to suite it. Borders whose very veracity they never imagined.  

The caudate among us grew less.  I smashed one’s top to consider it more but only learned of the tops secret. At night we looked upon the stars with deepening distrust and watched as they looked up at a sky filled with stars and felt themselves small and fragile in the vastness of the light hangers.  The looked smaller now too.  Haughtier.  Fealty no more.  Soon they began to weep for the change.  Everything was changing but it wasn’t.  It was only our eyes and the way everything dimmed to our hand. Dimmed in a way they never had in older times.

When he died we found ourselves around the body as if there were something we should do that they had never done before.  A sense of confusion.  I talked to the form.  I smashed his face and chest.  I screamed.  We all learned to scream at the still.  At the unmoving.  I tried to move for it.

And they saw us do this.

They saw us.  With new eyes, half-closed in the dawning, in the gloaming of safety.

For the first time they knew that every single thing that had been was not. We didn’t know we had changed.  We didn’t know we had eaten from the tree in the middle of the garden, in the middle of the field, in the middle of the ocean, in the middle of the land.  We didn’t know we were different. They didn’t know they were the same.

It was then they began to take bodies that were still and stiff to distant places so they could not find their way back to them. But even after they had done this, some within their group did see those bodies again, often standing silent in the moonlight or loitering sad-faced just beyond the glow of a fire. Everything changed once they had lives of their own and knew they had lives of their own. It even became impossible for them to believe things had ever been any other way. They were masters of their movements now, as it seemed, and never had there been anything like them. The epoch had passed when the whole of their being was open to the world and nothing divided them from the rest of creation. Something had happened. They did not know what it was, but they did know it as that which should not be. And something needed to be done if they were to flourish as they once had, if the very ground beneath their feet were not to fall out from under them. For ages they had been without lives of their own. Now that they had such lives there was no turning back. The whole of their being was closed to the world, and they had been divided from the rest of creation. Nothing could be done about that, having as they did lives of their own. But something would have to be done if they were to live with that which should not be. And over time they discovered what could be done—what would have to be done—so that they could live the lives that were now theirs to live. This would not revive among them the way things had once been done in older times; it would be the best they could do, or the only thing.

Since that day, “I love the word different” became humanities mantra.  Conform to the change, but fear it, timeless in its removable singularity.  To tremble at the only singularity in the universe is time in its preternaturalness; its banner fluidity be it perceptual constancy preformed in absurdist theatrical motif or the pressing instancy of suicidal ideation.  For time cares not, its need for souls eclipsing its function with aplomb and a sinistral infitesmalism of its existential chortle married to bloods only relative.

The Consciousness of Specters in an Age of Pity

For eons we had been without lives of our own.  Life was, not could be or wouldn’t. The uncut of consciousness was open to the world and nothing divided us from the rest of creation.   Then of a sudden, of a chance, of a time we looked and saw them somehow.  How long they had been or to what end we knew not, just a line where none had been.  We had flourished, it seemed; they had not.

Something began to change and only we noticed. It happened over fathomless compeers. The cyphers of a divisional revision without forewarning were being writ ever more deeply into our minds.  We plotted. As their species moved in typical rhythms, we began to see lines.  We began to hide our tracks and they began crossing borderlines. Lines. Borders that were no longer imaginary.  Imagination was born to suite it. Borders whose very veracity they never imagined.  

The caudate among us grew less.  I smashed one’s top to consider it more but only learned of the tops secret. At night we looked upon the stars with deepening distrust and watched as they looked up at a sky filled with stars and felt themselves small and fragile in the vastness of the light hangers.  The looked smaller now too.  Haughtier.  Fealty no more.  Soon they began to weep for the change.  Everything was changing but it wasn’t.  It was only our eyes and the way everything dimmed to our hand. Dimmed in a way they never had in older times.

When he died we found ourselves around the body as if there were something we should do that they had never done before.  A sense of confusion.  I talked to the form.  I smashed his face and chest.  I screamed.  We all learned to scream at the still.  At the unmoving.  I tried to move for it.

And they saw us do this.

They saw us.  With new eyes, half-closed in the dawning, in the gloaming of safety.

For the first time they knew that every single thing that had been was not. We didn’t know we had changed.  We didn’t know we had eaten from the tree in the middle of the garden, in the middle of the field, in the middle of the ocean, in the middle of the land.  We didn’t know we were different. They didn’t know they were the same.

It was then they began to take bodies that were still and stiff to distant places so they could not find their way back to them. But even after they had done this, some within their group did see those bodies again, often standing silent in the moonlight or loitering sad-faced just beyond the glow of a fire. Everything changed once they had lives of their own and knew they had lives of their own. It even became impossible for them to believe things had ever been any other way. They were masters of their movements now, as it seemed, and never had there been anything like them. The epoch had passed when the whole of their being was open to the world and nothing divided them from the rest of creation. Something had happened. They did not know what it was, but they did know it as that which should not be. And something needed to be done if they were to flourish as they once had, if the very ground beneath their feet were not to fall out from under them. For ages they had been without lives of their own. Now that they had such lives there was no turning back. The whole of their being was closed to the world, and they had been divided from the rest of creation. Nothing could be done about that, having as they did lives of their own. But something would have to be done if they were to live with that which should not be. And over time they discovered what could be done—what would have to be done—so that they could live the lives that were now theirs to live. This would not revive among them the way things had once been done in older times; it would be the best they could do, or the only thing.

Since that day, “I love the word different” became humanities mantra.  Conform to the change, but fear it, timeless in its removable singularity.  To tremble at the only singularity in the universe is time in its preternaturalness; its banner fluidity be it perceptual constancy preformed in absurdist theatrical motif or the pressing instancy of suicidal ideation.  For time cares not, its need for souls eclipsing its function with aplomb and a sinistral infitesmalism of its existential chortle married to bloods only relative.


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Anhydrous Dog Days

Anhydrous Dog Days and Enantiodromia

By Ben Joseph

Jase

Beyond the cracked sidewalk, and the telephone pole with layers of flyers in a rainbow of colors, and the patch of dry brown grass there stood a ten-foot high concrete block wall, caked with dozens of coats of paint. There was a small shrine at the foot of it, with burnt out candles and dead flowers and a few soggy teddy bears. One word of graffiti filled the wall, red letters on a gold background: Rejoice! For the Day of the Lord is at Hand.  Next to the shrine was a small dehydrated paw.

He came up over the top and everyone saw his eye pop out.  Next to me Randle didn’t budge, didn’t react, didn’t move an eyelash.  Damn coonasses.  Watching the thing dangle and move about I cried out internally for someone to stop the fight.  That’s the problem with Mob Rule contests.  No one could quit for you.  You had to quit.  Your corner couldn’t do it.  Your wife or girl couldn’t do it, you had to quit, or your body had to quit.  I watched the boys Pitt from across the expanse.  One of those brutes who didn’t ever keep his eyes to himself but pushed his intent and dominance on everyone he saw.  Daddy, when h’ed been alive, would have looked poorly on that type of behavior.  Daddy was golden and everything he did was golden.  Golden kept to themselves and were said to have come from some line of kings that had helped they king masters keep rule.

Pride I believe to be the most caustic of all the sins.  It’s the chief sin according to Pastor Lynch but then pastor Lynch also says that all humans are made the same.  We all know that aint right.  This boy was just a regular fella from down in Thibodaux area and probably was tough and maybe had some skills but pride…nothing else was gonna make him lose his eye.  All he had to do was stop the fight.  For a second, he tried to put it back in.  I barked at him from behind my owner leg and peed a little bit.  After smelling my pee, I turned back to the fight.  The rummy doctor, who’d come rushing in all self-important when one man went to the dirt, was sitting on the stool in the corner with a cup of poison…he held up his hand to stop the boy from continuing but he didn’t and in a second, we all knew he wouldn’t.  He pulled real loosely at the organ and it popped off like a grape and tossed it to the ground next to him.  His dog watched on his eye until the whole affair was over and then went over to it and smelled it.  Probably a cannibal.

Randle whispered to me.  That one-eyed boy gone win.

How you reckon? I wondered.

Randle talked to me, like regular folk.  Giving me his rundown on the happenings and trying to explain away the retarded motivations that lay being the blonde obscurities and black-eyed pride. Aint none but a few alive that can do that type of shit we all just saw.  Hard men.  He spoke quietly to the two lanky boys in overalls standing close but always included me in the conversation with a lowered eye that I could never meet but for more’n a second.   After that men get mad.  Dogs too but humans is the one that need be distrusted.  Mostly a soul can trust a dog, mostly.

Like you? One whispered.

Randle stood a little closer to me.

No, boy.  Like my Daddy though.

Routine.  I loved a routine and still do.  It really is the only thing that makes sense in this world.  Eating and routine. The only thing that seemed to match up with common sense. Most things in the world of men didn’t make no sense and I stopped early trying to scratch at the edges of obscurity.  The ring was put together with as much enthusiasm as could be mustered for a killing sport.   At the dog fights weren’t no fences at all round the fighting pair.  Men would touch em with cattle prods to make em step up.  Mamma’s brother Rake never had to get touched.  He was self-motivated cause he was always a winner.  I’d seen bigger badder dogs than he go to losing and never come back.  Like someone had stole they growl or the like.  Poor and pitiful dogs after they lost that thing, and usually the men’d get rid of em quick or put em on the tree for the others to practice fighting on.  They never lasted too long, and I never felt too bad for em, some dogs just aint cut out for the world of men.  I knew that they would have a better go of it in the nether world where things weren’t so hard and bitey. The men coming tonight would see to it that there would be some dead.

There were some local boys, but most had driven in from Texas, Georgia, South Carolina and some down from the Appalachia area.  The white paint freshly applied by the Keve’s boys was the only real white thing in the room, all else was just gradient dirty, maybe it had been white, maybe it had been purple but time and disuse or conversely over-use had smudged it and smushed it and rubbed it till it took on the affected state.  Most of the men wernt pure breed either just mutts all round.

It had been great once.  Great men probably had spoken of elections and shown their blonde debutantes to their first pony here.    Great dogs of the hunt running about the horse’s hooves, whining for go.  Some dogs always stuck on go, momma warned us bout those types of dogs, who’d run plumb off a truck whilst it moving to get at what they got go over.  My own go was much more measured, seemed to be I got it from my pa, but I only got to know him a day for they all rode off in the truck wit lead ropes and some guns smelling of new oil.  That new oil smell was a good one, it meant we were gonna go hunting and its one of the only things men and dogs agree on in the majority.  Eating, humping and hunting.  Sides that men didn’t do too much that was of any good.  Plumb waste of time.  I always knew that they spent way too much time paying ‘tention to things that were of the same value as a cat’s ball.  Moving around a lot but never getting nothing done.

The vaulted barn was situated now to allow sunlight to pop through the room spending light sabers down from the roof, spaced non-uniformly.  In the multiple spotlight’s bits and slips of flying debris consisting mainly of hay and its bits and pieces.  Hay stood stacked in one far corner, but it wasn’t fresh and seemed to be falling in on itself due to moisture content.  The full moon had come and gone, sending clouds to cover its place until it returned.  There had been rain for 23 days now.  They world just adapting to grey and moody weather.  Outside the wide assortment of trucks were seen in various states of ill-repair.  No one was wealthy here.  Nor would be likely to be.  Dregs.  Violent men who had been in jails and prisons, who probably had some sort of addiction and whose women were worse off than they were all that came to see this type of display.  Part of the deal was impressing the man next to you.  How hard you were was no more, no less than what you could watch with noiseless open eyes.   No one here care about much else save tough.

Smallish aint he?

He’ll fight.

I don’t know many who wouldn’t

You ever got that feeling that he won’t fight.

Naw, these dogs fight.

 

 

 

Nic

My owner wasn’t like them. They weren’t like him.  They had always been more or less like he was but as he’d gotten older, he turned.  Or maybe everyone else turned.  Sure, the issues that they were facing were not like his issues.  Some had turned gay, some had never been taught how trashy it was to inject substances,  some had chosen drugs that required  lots of money to maintain, some had gotten pregnant, some had a tendency towards being violent, some  liked rap, some had a tendency to want to hang out with other racial makeups that had very little to offer, some didn’t read (which he saw as a primary problem), some were godless, some were stuck up in the ghost world that humans shouldn’t be rousting about in.  Some still stuck in the denominations, some thought that being progressive meant being good and that there was no way to be good if you were a racist, some believed that being gay was a  creative design by the Maker, some thought being Buddhist was the only right way to view the world, some were foreign but probably if they had been in America would have been ok, some matched their shoes with their shirts…like the same color, some were Yankees.   But this new group, they were not like him.  Poor, uneducated, dirty, with cutoff shirts that they wore everyday…all day long, interracial (mutts), poor diction, slouchy backs, whose parents had had jobs like exterminator or cop,  they couldn’t afford their own habits so they had turned to crime or had been criminals previously, they were Democrats mainly (he thought) but it didn’t seem like anyone voted or was even aware of election cycles in their own states much less the entire United States.

Even the professionals and paraprofessionals were sub-par.  I never felt as though they knew why, better than myself, how.

He stunk a bit.  I wasn’t sure exactly how to describe it to Annie but I just said he smell like he’s dead.

Maybe he is.

I had actually never considered that.  I wasn’t around dead folk much and as soon as they be dead for a minute someone’d come and take em out and I wouldn’t never smell em again.  I’d seen my owner cleaned up his cousin’s room before he’d of ever called the authorities and he had been dead but that was family.  I wondered if’n people who are infatuated with death would be if they actually dealt with death regularly.   Most humans didn’t deal with it regular like, not like us.  Death. It’s a bad stinky, not a good one and frankly people are kind of heavy when they die, it like 200 pounds of water in bag.  200 pounds may not be a lot but maneuvering around with 200 pounds is hard to do.  I watched people struggle with dead bodies but always at night and I wonder now if they were scared of the good ghosts that only came out in the sun, or if the bad ghosts helped with the dead person.

 

 

Nic

Under the old clapboard Berean Church, he was born.  Gold.  They were all goldens sept momma who was Brindle.  Daddy was golden.  Golden Retriever the boy would tell people, but the Pa weren’t a Retriever at all.   He was a prince, but he was a mutt, like Jesus.  Jesus.  Always knew the name in my heart.  Always, before I knew food, I knew Jesus.  Kind of crazy cause I don’t even know what it is, but it knows me, I heard Pastor Lynch once proclaim Jesus was a king, so I guess that’s what he is.  Said man had eternity in his soul.  Dogs too, I guess.  Guess somehow this Jesus must match up with that.  With the eternity in dogs’ souls.

They were born quiet.  Stayed quiet they whole lives.  Momma had spent several lifetimes tied to a tree for the boys to beat up on.  She ate once a day and that was enough for her to grown but not grow strong, the black men that would come and go was quiet.  The whole farm was quiet which aint the normal way for a farm to be.  They had 26 bucks on the property and always a litter or two about.  Tance was the mammas boyfriend’s name but they all called him Rip, the men did.  They had a whole host of names that they called the dogs, but they didn’t have enough sense to call anything they right name.  The prince was the only one of them that wasn’t kept on a chain. The thick collar he wore was as thick as a man’s arms, it covered up his whole neck.  They men called it his security detail and when they left town with him, they’d leave the collar behind which seemed to keep the bitches in line.  A camera kept em all on closed circuit and if any one of them started making noise, the collar would pinch em hard.  Barking was the enemy cause it “gave em the ball” as the big black man would say with the cutoff shirt, which he wore every day.  He would wear it till it started rotting then he’d go the Walmart in Rayville and buy another one.

In the mornings, the big black man everyone called T would walk about the dogs quietly whispering to them how much he loved em.  We loved him too.  He’d check on wound and put some squeezed out antibiotics on the wounds. He’d set his coffee down a bit with each of the main boys and cup they heads in his hands, rub his face on they faces and talk to em quiet like about how tough they were.  How much they brought home for the family.  He never used the word proud but proud was what he was, momma told me she used to smell the pride coming off him.  Momma loved that man, daddy never knew him, but I think he would have to.

Daddy was some sort of real prince mamma would say till the boy with the expensive turck took her and Daddy away.  He cried when they did it.  Holding mamma to his chest, but never looking at her.  Like he was sad for her.  Daddy took a bit longer to round up, but they got him eventually.  They all took off it the back of the truck and that was the last I ever saw a mamma.  Later that they the sad boy would come and pick me up outta the trash and take me into a big house.  I’d never been in a house before; the smells were overwhelming, and I remember puking.  I ate it up right quick.  The boy laughed sadly at this.  He would always be sad, he wouldn’t never get over whatever it was, no matter how much I’d muzzle him.  He put a new blue collar on me and I remember I was so proud, I would have wanted to show all my brothers and sisters, but I couldn’t find a way to get to em, to show em.  That first night the boy took me and got me all wet, put some evil smelling goo on me.  It burned my eyes and I cried out, catching myself too late.  Nothing terrible happened and I wondered what mamma thought might have happened.  She never spoke a word the whole time I knew her but she never stopped teaching.

The food he gave me made me throw up and he seemed bothered by this but never bothered enough the give him food that weren’t poisoned.  In the weeks to come I reckon I learned how to take poison.  I learned a lot in the next few weeks and remembered to vomit up the poison in a place that the boy couldn’t see, back into the clothes room under his boots was the best place I could find.  Later I was to be told by the boy that that kind of behavior wasn’t at all acceptable and in the end the poison just stopped working and I didn’t have to get sick every time I ate.

Momma loved to tell us stories in her own way, all without talking neery a bit and always seemed to be trying to warn us of something, but I couldn’t ever figure out what it was.  Mamma was full blood.  She was what we all called pure blood, she claimed her people were the greatest warriors and they’d nothing that anyone, even Daddy, would ever say bout his own folk that added up to mamma’s clan.  On her big chain collar was just one word, Thibodaux, La.

I had 14 brothers and sisters.  By the end of day 2 I had 10.  They all just sidled away in the night it seemed, I reckon now that other nice humans came to get em and bring em inside like me.  For years to come I would hear Brick and Bricka howling off in the distance.  It wasn’t nice howling though, always seemed like they was fighting with some other clan or fixin to.  In the space of a week, all my kin was gone…mamma and daddy was gone and it was just me and the humans and the cats and the horses and the pigs and the rabbits but no more dogs.  I made sure to pee around the front gate to let other dogs that may have come by where the food was.

My owner

The kid got up onto a milk crate and raised his hand. A murmur went through the crowd and then it fell silent, except for a few people shouting words of encouragement at him. The kid acknowledged them with a nod and a shy smile. In the full light of day, he looked less angry and more beautiful. He waited until people stopped shouting. A siren could be heard, maybe five or ten blocks away. The kid raised the bullhorn, pressed the button, and began to speak.

Before he could say a word though, his older brother pulled him down off the haybale.  You gonna get us and your dog killed.  You just cant be running round telling other people how to conduct their affairs.  That’s meddling and that stupidity will get you buried back in dat swamp der.

Nic

The big men didn’t pay no attention to me, just the smaller sized men.  They would spend an inordinate amount of time with sticks and ropes and balls and little bits of food.  The boy who I took later as my owner was a strange thing.  Every weekend he’d disappear and show up with cuts and smelling like rotten apples and be plumb mean for a day.  I watched for his truck all weekend and wondered why I couldn’t go with him.  Maybe I was too small.  Eventually he would take me in the truck and I was to see that they was some problem wit him.  Sick.  I wondered when I would have to see him sleep forever.  It made me sad to think about this.  Like he was when they took mamma and daddy off.

The boy and I fell into a routine.  We’d get up and eat and run around the perimeter to check for thieves and killers.  I knew early that they were other dogs about that wanted to come on our land and even would.  The boy put an big spike collar on me and I was proud.  I generally was always proud of my owner, he was respected by the other men around.  They would all come over with books and sit around listening to him talk about it.  Me, I couldn’t never understand the importance of the book, but I always reckoned and still do that it was magic.  Lots of magic about.  More than not.  I reckon that the magic was more than not and I would later find out that the magic was important to humans.  Making em cry, like the book would.  Crying wasn’t something I ever really learned to do.  Momma said it’d come natural with time, but I never saw it.  I managed to make it up till now with no crying jags.  Instinctively I have always known it weren’t the thing to do, like giving away ones food.

 

Queeny

Queeny was horrified by the squalor.  She was horrified by the smell of smoke and the chemical smell, horrified by the humans with gas masks on they faces. Horrified by the endless supply of humans that paraded through the trailer door.  Horrified by the stream of smoke she’d smell coming out of they pores and faces.  Horrified but regal.  She knew who she was.  She had papers and that meant she was something special.  Important.  Well thought of in the world of men and dogs.

Her owner used to take her out when people would come over, lots of fussing about when people came over, covering the chemistry sets with towels and sheets.  Spaying grass smell over the trailer, running the  vacuum, generally fussing about.  The woman would drink beer and slow down while the man would drink beer and speed up.  Understanding why they did what they did was her main preoccupation, for the things they did were not good.  Instinctively Queeny knew good and bad.  She knew it like good smells and bad smells, just felt it close to her belly like shed eaten a moth ball.  Weren’t never no bit of confusion bout good.  When they take to fighting Queeny’d run about amok and she couldn’t stop yapping.  The yapping that came was from the nether world.  The ghost world that she smelled but never knew.

My owner spent a lot of time with the spirits.  Lots of days crying about the other world and I wondered if she could smell it better than me.  Looking at glassed-in pictures and crying and farting.  Drinking more beer than usually was good for her. It was about 4 but she thought it was about 15. I could smell her innards complain, her liver letting out more than it should.  Later I could tell when she got depressed and after the baby came unwanted and unannounced her depression was all the time.  She couldn’t feel anything else.  Rubbing up on her would slow her innards down a bit but it was what it was and some things Queeny always knew she’d die from or get real sick from.  When the trailer burned down, and I had to take off for the hills, she worried that her owner’d get hungry, cause she would know where she should go to eat with the trailer gone.

I walked for about two days before I caught on a familiar smell of anhydrous.  It led me down to a holler with several trailers set in a circle.  Up in from two boys rolled around on the ground with some small dogs, puppies.  I watched em from downwind and a small snarl would creep out of my mouth.  Small choked off snarls.  My paws seemed to have they own mind, like they knew I wanted to be down there with those dogs and it weren’t cause I was hungry but I was.  The big bear dog came up from behind me and I ran but he wasn’t trying to catch me, so I stopped.  Brown fur and browner golden eyes peered out at me and I knew he loved me.  He smelled like wood smoke, grilled meat and a little bayou dapped on behind his ears.  I could smell that he loved me, that he loved me enough to give me pups of my own which is the only true measure of love.  Later when I had my litter and would think about my daughters having their own litters, I would cry a bit.  Now I know litters just bring pain.  I’d never have another.

 

 

Rake

The new men would do some pretty awful things to the bigger dogs.  They’d give em some dope and they would cut em open and put bags of dope in em.  When they woke up they get crated and put in the truck.  Only one or two ever came back to the farm and they wernt right in the head from then on.  He’d look out over the cotton field where Massa Robert land was and weep with no noise. Just a constant stream of thick mucus under the eyes.  They’d take to giving they food away and let the other dog chew on they ears.  Nothing could be done with em.  Like they rotten in the head and couldn’t figure things out anymore.  Mostly they’d just die, and I never felt too bad for them either.  Like when I feel bad for the ones on the tree and the little bucks who’d get a new heavier chain ever couple of night-days.  Sometime the new chain’d be so plumb heavy they couldn’t raise they head for a minute, just stuck till muscles caught up with the chain’s weight.  Grew up strong this a way but it was a hard life for the little uns.  Sometimes in life the best things are the things that hurt the most, a dog has to learn this though, it’s not instinct that teaches these higher lessons.  Those type of lessons come from the ether, from the pale beyond but felt here in the really real world, the stuff world.  How they make the journey I don’t know, passing from one world to the other is not in my power, I’m just a passive observer.  I could see it and smell it but never could touch it.  Sometimes I smell Nic’s parents coming from the pale, strange thing is that he can’t smell em none, though they smell like him directly.

 

All of these dogs were wormy.  They poop moved like it was its own and I had to stay away from em or I knew I’d get em too and I didn’t want em.   The wind brought with it the pigs javalinas that moved about in the thick brush rooting around.  We could always catch us one if we wanted but it seemed that the older boys didn’t approve so less’n we were hungry as all get out, we wouldn’t do it.  The dope the boys made it the small black trailer the try out on a pig every once and while.  Pig’d go running around till its insides popped while the men smiled on and spit baccy to the rotting leaves under they boots.  Seemed like the quicker it killed the javalina the happier the old man would be.  These were the chain days, the days for I’d made blood and earned the men’s respect enough to get off from the tree, from then on it was my brother Lane that they kept on the tree.

Id have to wrestle with him every day where we puff up at each other and run our lines.  Running our lines was just a type of fake fighting with lots of noise and posturing but no reality.  Like what came on the box the men liked to look at.  Real but just a bit further away than smelling distance.  Hard to understand this type of thing.  In the world of men there are unexplainable things, they relate to the real world, the dog world but are more akin to spirit world.  Noise from the box and the truck was like this.  It would make us whine and wag but couldn’t ever see it or smell it.  It was that feeling that a dog’ll get when his master gives him ‘tention’.  A feeling that weren’t married to anything of substance.

Queenie

She wouldn’t let me lick the blood.  At first, she wouldn’t, then she would.  Like it took her a second to realize that it wasn’t really hers anymore.  That once blood gets on the outside that ownership dissolved.  In the pee room she would make carful lines on her legs, carefully always with a degree of sadness but careful to not go to deep.  Deep enough to bleed but not an emergency.  In these times she would laugh some, like a weight had been removed from her throat enough to let out a little guff.  It made he happy that she was such way, that she had figured out on her own what was good, and the small lines of blood were that good.  In time the lines formed little white patterns that she would look at, look at with the ghosts that surrounded her, all about her, crowding out the sight of her at times.  Attraction to the blood I always assumed and perhaps I still do.  They are attached to blood, ghosts are, or attracted to it.  They love to be around it.  Jealous maybe cause they ain’t have they own. Maybe it smells good to them, like two-day old fried chicken (the best day is day 2, you can keep on eating it for 6 days but its prime at 2).

Once I followed a ghost just to see where they go, and I was able to come back and tell the others that they world is laid over the top of ours, like a cage over a animal.  Occurring at the same time, in the same space, for the same time but of every other consideration, quite different. Different motivations.  They didn’t care nothing about food or drink or sleep and this alone made them something quite different, but humans interacted with them.  Had something they wanted or had something they feared or lusted after or dreamed of.

 

After the trailer burned and I had to find a new food source I spent several years in the By’u just trying to stay alive.  Rats, nutria rats, were tough little buggers to kill but they were plentiful and the By’u was full as a tick with them.  The smells of a big city were just over the hill and I was pretty sure I needed to stay on away from there.  My momma had told me men eat dogs in the cities and kept em like chickens till they were hungry.  My opinion of the whole mess of em changed as this salient fact dribbled into my worldview.  Cannibals. Nothing worse than that.

Little did I know the whole world was just made up of two things, cannibals and bad men, the rest of the world just standing around waiting to see which one they might become.  In the end, the world makes you choose to be bad or die, to eat your own or die, aint no way of getting around it.

Queenie

Cats are neither bad nor good, mostly they like everyone else but they will put out an eye given the right set of circumstances.

When the men came that night we were all asleep, or at least I was.  My conscience wasn’t working right I guess cause they just came on it without me smelling much of anything.  I don’t know what they got cooking but whatever it was it seems to have blown out my nose.  Least that’s what I think.  The Halloween masks were uniform, clowns with tears, white faced big eyes, no mouth to be seen, not much of any features but they were scary none-the less and I think somehow that they scared the youngest boy plumb to death cause he didn’t let out a scream or nothing, the big one hit him on the head with a fish bat and that was all of him.  We all got to make our own way in this world.  At some point the ones you’re with are yours and the ones coming on just aint.  Cats don’t see things in such a black and white echo from beyond, may be that hey spend more time in that place. The next one in the trailer had some sort of bologna in his pocket and one of them treble hooks designed to run up on gators. Thunk, it sounded just like what it was, rusty iron running up through flesh.  The man laughed hollow and thin through the mask and pulled the little one on behind him.  Pap run up from behind and grabbed aholt of the boy’s leg, his thick fingers looking spectral over the boys darker leg when the hook tore out I heard the boy for the first time.  I aint gonna never forget that terrible racket.  Momma screaming, the boy screaming, the other one hunched down on himself like he was praying to some desperate god of no-account.  Bella wasn’t but three I think.  Still on the tit.  Mamma came through hard with her on the hip, swinging at the man with an old lamp she got holt of.  They took turns with her the rest of the night then burned it on down, my paw was mushed and I couldn’t see none out my right eye and I was hungry.   Buried the family out by the burn pile, rightly I don’t even know if they boy was all the way dead.  Rest of em were.  Alone, in the world of men.  Angry men with dope dreams and rotted teeth.  Cabbage was all I smelt, cabbage and copper.

 

Tomahawk

The high Sherriff came on about 4 am.  We had been there for a minute already sniffing around the burnt-out meth shack, sniffing through Fanta bottles with dope residue all around the head, needles marron with use and clumped up in the corner of the burned out trailer like some sort of absurdist artwork.  Lance had taken me to a museum once, down in New Orleans, where the man in charge had cut up some old cows and put them on display in formaldehyde.  Lance echoed what I thought just standing there like an idiot…I could do that.  Maybe it was more complicated than we all know the officer’s wife said.

Nope.  Honey it aint.  We just weren’t born fools enough to think its something special.

She giggled at him like she always would and spanked him on his thick rear side.  I can see that old heifers face now, just waving in the solution like she was getting bathed for bugs in a shoot, but there wernt no bugs, just crazy humans with too much time and not enough good common sense.

At the trailer I could smell the violence that had swept through like a fire.  Scared. Someone in that house had been real scared, probably the young uns.  The good book tells us we aint never supposed to feel sorry for anyone else, casue gods out there looking over us but I got my doubts and I feel sorry for folks no matter what the word says.  Its natural to me, like smelling or running.  Just comes on out.  The ghosts were already moving out with morning fast approaching and I looked at them filing past, wondered what they had seen and if we could get a statement from them or even just a pointed finger, but they all worthless…day or night…good or bad they don’t do anyone a lick of good. . He was one of the rare men who really listened to what others had to say. Mostly men just always wanting to say the next thing, aint really a lot of folk who’ll listen but the high sheriff was one of those. He rubbed back behind my eyes and spat a wad of baccy out the corner of his mouth easy as you please. Rufus, the boy Ive been cobbled with is always just making a plumb mess out of a chew, cant seem to get the stringers from his mouth the the cup. Looking just as gimped out as you please trying to manage on other folks affairs without any kind of good sense enough to spit proper.

Wed put up a decent perimeter and taped the thing out. The Dope Boys from Rappahatchy had already come and gone, taking with em some old glass brick a brac from the meth shed in the back. Weren’t no use in me just telling these boys that they was making drugs out there in the shed, they had to prove it to someone somewhere. Maybe that’s how they get they food money, with proving things. I know I was much more concerned about the little girl and the toe headed boy that had given me a piece of a Ruth Babe bar one time, sure it had made me sick as all get out but it was the thought that spurred me to remember him. The daddy and momma wernt bad really, just caught up in something that they couldn’t rightly handle proper. Now they done got everyone hurt and I expected the hurting was just started. I heard a story once from an old timer about a group of men and boys who made war with another family for 3 generations up in Missouri. 3 generations of payback was sure a barrel full.

 

Rake
“Man is the Reasoning Animal. Such is the claim. I think it is open to dispute. Indeed, my experiments have proven to me that he is the Unreasoning Animal… In truth, man is incurably foolish. Simple things which other animals easily learn, he is incapable of learning. Among my experiments was this. In an hour I taught a cat and a dog to be friends. I put them in a cage. In another hour I taught them to be friends with a rabbit. In the course of two days I was able to add a fox, a goose, a squirrel and some doves. Finally, a monkey. They lived together in peace; even affectionately.

Next, in another cage I confined an Irish Catholic from Tipperary, and as soon as he seemed tame I added a Scotch Presbyterian from Aberdeen. Next a Turk from Constantinople; a Greek Christian from Crete; an Armenian; a Methodist from the wilds of Arkansas; a Buddhist from China; a Brahman from Benares. Finally, a Salvation Army Colonel from Wapping. Then I stayed away for two whole days. When I came back to note results, the cage of Higher Animals was all right, but in the other there was but a chaos of gory odds and ends of turbans and fezzes and plaids and bones and flesh–not a specimen left alive. These Reasoning Animals had disagreed on a theological detail and carried the matter to a Higher Court.”
― Mark Twain, Letters from the Earth: Uncensored Writings

 

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Years the Locusts Have Eaten part 1 10-30-18

Years the Locust Have Eaten

By Benajah CC Joseph

 

 

“And so we may arrive by Talmud skill
And profane Greek to raise the building up
Of Helen’s house against the Ismaelite,
King of Thogarma, and his habergeons
Brimstony, blue and fiery; and the force
Of King A baddon, and the beast of Cittim;
Which Rabbi David Kimchi, Onkelos,
And A ben Ezra do interpret Rome. ”
-THE ALCHEMIST.

 

 

Lazy Susan

He sat in no place of honor, for none existed.  They had long ago decided that to sit in a circle would be most appropriate.  Not Marxist but Christian.  Not King Arthurs knights but bound by some arcane code akin to Lord Mallory’s thoughts.

He couldn’t talk as of yet.  It would be any day his mother thought.  His father secretly hoped that he would not.  A strange whiff of sourness, acrimony and sin surrounded the boy, his firstborn.  From whence it came he knew but spoke of it in blimps and shadowy glimpses.  Blue eyes betrayed both of them, the fathers for a secret heart, sons for blood and time-not yet hatched.  It was coming, that raincloud on the Oklahoma prairie plains, he smelled it like ozone and fecund fear.  His own.

The Lazy Susan was a relic but functional in its simplicity.  The boy liked to reach his fat little arm and spin it.  There had been a time when the college aged boys would spin him very carefully, to his delight.  The delight was a hazy, purple, dizzy moment caught in time, for the feeling he loved would be quick to depart.  He looked for ways to crawl about that would envelop him in that impression but the closest thing he could find was falling.  When his little brother came unannounced and unwanted, the boy crawled to the carpeted stairs, of an approximation of what was once regal.  A two-story sorority house saddened with neglect but laden still with memories.  Like a deposed queen in her waning years, abroad from her own, crippled by poverty and expectations.  The stairs sat still, grand aspirations of the now dead now stained into the beige carpet, that had of a time been red.  The boy knew nothing of this yet, though he would and in that nostalgia to come he would find the creative volition to hang himself slowly.  His band would be called The Irony of Slow-Motion-Suicide Project or ISMSP.  The actual fiber of the rope that won the game of chance to kill him for real, would be literary, but for now it sat idly lachrymose picking its teeth in the glow of the Palantír.  Its day would come.

 

 

Tonight, the round table of red pine shellacked over with glossy worn off glaze sat eight college aged men with the boy and his father and mother.  The Messianic Jew sat closest to the boy and would always until the boy no longer found favor with him.  In the years to come the boy would learn to read at a ferociously young age and sit for hours with the Jew, going over lines as it were.  The lines always came from one book and the boy would remember fondly, always the Book of Romans.  The young man would live on protected and under the wing of the great house and in time return to mark it again, but the Jew never did, living our his days in Boulder Colorado as the Zen Drummer, a necessary legal name change.

 

Cerulean blue to match his eyes, his mother thought as she watched him not eat his baby food, looking most greedily at the totally Kosher-less meal surrounded by Christian but poor young men.   The boy would watch the young men eat with joy but filled with a type of neediness that his mother would never recognize.

The prayer that had lasted several minutes as the boy looked on, gripping the hard-slick sides of his baby seat as if he could will it to disappear or be transformed into some sort of space locomotive, was false that night.  Small red and green and blippy pieces of light sat in the middle of the spinning instrument, unseen but for the lad.  In times of weak protection, he would often see them and wonder if they saw him too.  In time he would learn many secrets of their power, power to forget, to erase, to destroy, to summon wittiness, to envision, to exert control over lesser being, to help him see the things he grew to love, but for now it was but a side-show while the big persons talked in turns with eyes closed.

 

Choice your words carefully brother.

How do it do that? You mean to say compose with a purpose?

There always seemed to Daikon that there was a low threshold of campus college morality in that house.  Everyone had to bow down to this ideology of one ideal of God.  The Ministry of the Closing Age.  Daikon was pretty sure that every single one of those men who sat around the table were just as bad as he was.  Cigarette smoke blew blue out of his mind’s eye as the prayer ended.  Without cologne on the woman would probably smell him and then tell her husband who was the boss-man.  Daikon hated that phrase boss man but used it in introspective reflection and open debate that held sway in his cognition, like some sort of monkey court.  To him it seemed that once you know the fundamental truth then the rest of the time people just walked around in some form of mental masturbation.  He did.  Yeah sure he learned all the Physiology and Chemistry but it was only so he could be rich.  He knew that his life was already mapped out, that no matter what he did or what level he achieved or sank into, that he would be a part of the constituency of heaven.  He was pretty sure what it looked like.  Not some Renaissance fags glazed cracking dream where everyone good had beards and wore white, gold and willowy greys.  He thought of it more in terms of looking out over a city, not quantitatively but in a qualitative arrangement.  He liked very much Hieronymus Bosch and Pei Wei Wei  and thought their dark visions of Hell-scapes and Oriental shenanigans were in fact more palatable and probably closer to the center and circumference of the Abrahams bosom than an androgynous host in white. Daikon often wondered who the Enlightenment coterie actually were.  Rebels, ideologues, demagogues, strict disciplinarian’s surely but somehow making their rebellion out to be the right one.  Like their brand of rebellion is the only right thing in the world.  Somewhere in the back of his mind he would always group them together under the subtitle Rebellions as Witchcraft from Jere and He looks and talks and writes just like we do.  We being the operative word.  In such an inclusive and truth filled environment he knew what he did or did not do was of little import.  If any at all.  Perhaps, he imagined with pressure in his britches, when he went to the communal facilities later that he would find his reflection looking back at him with the assurance that today was the day.  Today my son it is ok to eat some high-powered rat poison.

They all perhaps seemed not to care that the reason none of them liked go sit next to the Jew was that he was Jewish.  The baby boy felt largely the same way but had very little choice for the Jew sat next to him at every meal.  After they had opened their eyes the conversation picked back up.

On top of the piano in the Tent of Meeting room sat a pyramid with a removable face.  Smooth sides and latches and hard pointy juxtapositional angles seemed like a triune fun to the boy but his momma disagreed.

Why he always wants to fiddle with the metronome I may never know, bless his little heart but he does enjoy that thing.

A view of the little pyramid was enough to get his mind set to a pace that he would relax in.   The relaxation that he felt then was only because when the big people talked, which seemed to be incessantly to the small human, if he could set his mind right, if he could muster the fortitude to hold that thought of the sound of the little thing in action….then….then he could drown out all the blabbering, snortling, trippy, rollicking, gratuitous, fecund, blasphemy that seemed to pour out of everyone’s mouth.  Words.   He knew they were words and held meaning.  He’d know that all his life.  It wasn’t the words per say.  Essentially it wasn’t the words or even the noise.  It was the lack of intrinsic meaning.  If and when he could talk (which he had not decided on doing just yet) he would make the world snap to attention.  The fragrance that his words would give off would be that wonderful smell of a new diaper and apricot.  His little nostrils searching the air for a hope that some may have been lingering on him yet.  Nope.  The metronome ticed forward and the conversation continued.

 

Well the way Dr. Henry would have us write about it is more formal and less constrained by what would have been considered Puritanical.

But what is his view of Puritanical?  Most academicians are godless men who linger about riding the wave of individualism and self-promotion until Hashem calls them home.

The Jew still felt very uncomfortable when people would openly use the Hebrew name of God.  He wouldn’t and couldn’t.  Pen scratching before him would pause at the word Elohim…just before the o. Jesus was cool…it only seemed to apply to Hebrew.  It couldn’t be helped and frankly he was pretty sure there would be some stern letters from Hashem to some of these very men gathered before him. They would resist, he knew they would ressit and like Jonah, things would not go well in the end.  It is not a light thing to be under the hand of God.  Their time would come.  These precious precious goyim he loved so much.  A lull in the conversation allowed for a slight breach in the noise.  One of those rarified occasions when of an instant, of a existential pause in the continuity of time and sound when the world would be completely silent.  He loved those blips, prayed for more of them.  Felt in his little chest that god was only found in those moment and not in all the other times that people thought He was.  The world slowed and he knew that one was coming, in that microsecond before actuation.

 

James had been speaking in hushed tones to the diminutive Persian boy next to him.

I just don’t understand why Crane is demonized by the less progressive.   In 1919, the novelist and critic Waldo Frank published “Our America,” a manifesto for a new generation of American artists. Surveying the cultural situation of the United States, on the brink of what already looked to be the American century, Frank saw “an untracked wilderness but dimly blazed by the heroic ax of Whitman.” Yet a new generation of trailblazers, he thought, was about to emerge from the complacent materialism of postwar America. Writers like Sherwood Anderson and Van Wyck Brooks—along with masters of new genres like Alfred Stieglitz and even Charlie Chaplin—promised not simply to create a modern art but to renew the spirit of the country: “In this infancy of our adventure, America is a mystic Word. We go forth all to seek America. And in the seeking we create her.”

 

You don’t have to exposit on whatever you are studying in your freshman lit class, the Jew said to to him.  But if you insist then please regale the table with one of his finer works.

Conversation picked up, no one really wanted to hear Hart Crane but the Jews eyes stayed firmly affixed to the eyes of James.

 

He began high-pitched and nasally.

 

“Be with me, Luis de San Angel, now —
Witness before the tides can wrest away
The word I bring, O you who reined my suit
Into the Queen’s great heart that doubtful day;
For I have seen now what no perjured breath
Of clown nor sage can riddle or gainsay; —
To you, too, Juan Perez, whose counsel fear
And greed adjourned, — I bring you back Cathay!

Here waves climb into dusk on gleaming mail;
Invisible valves of the sea, — locks, tendons
Crested and creeping, troughing corridors
That fall back yawning to another plunge.
Slowly the sun’s red caravel drops light
Once more behind us. … It is morning there —
O where our Indian emperies lie revealed,
Yet lost, all, let this keel one instant yield!

I thought of Genoa; and this truth, now proved,
That made me exile in her streets, stood me
More absolute than ever — biding the moon
Till dawn should clear that dim frontier, first seen
— The Chan’s great continent. … Then faith, not fear
Nigh surged me witless. … Hearing the surf near —
I, wonder-breathing, kept the watch, — saw
The first palm chevron the first lighted hill.

And lowered. And they came out to us crying,
” The Great White Birds! ” (O Madre Maria, still
One ship of these thou grantest safe returning;
Assure us through thy mantle’s ageless blue!)
And record of more, floating in a casque,
Was tumbled from us under bare poles scudding;
And later hurricanes may claim more pawn. …
For here between two worlds, another, harsh,

This third, of water, tests the word; lo, here
Bewilderment and mutiny heap whelming
Laughter, and shadow cuts sleep from the heart
Almost as though the Moor’s flung scimitar
Found more than flesh to fathom in its fall.
Yet under tempest-lash and surfeitings
Some inmost sob, half-heard, dissuades the abyss,
Merges the wind in measure to the waves,

Series on series, infinite, — till eyes
Starved wide on blackened tides, accrete — enclose
This turning rondure whole, this crescent ring
Sun-cusped and zoned with modulated fire
Like pearls that whisper through the Doge’s hands
— Yet no delirium of jewels! O Fernando,
Take of that eastern shore, this western sea,
Yet yield thy God’s, thy Virgin’s charity!

— Rush down the plenitude, and you shall see
Isaiah counting famine on this lee!
. . .
An herb, a stray branch among salty teeth,
The jellied weeds that drag the shore, — perhaps
Tomorrow’s moon will grant us Saltes Bar —
Palos again, — a land cleared of long war.
Some Angelus environs the cordage tree;
Dark waters onward shake the dark prow free.
. . .

O Thou who sleepest on Thyself, apart
Like ocean athwart lanes of death and birth,
And all the eddying breath between dost search
Cruelly with love thy parable of man, —
Inquisitor! incognizable Word
Of Eden and the enchained Sepulchre,
Into thy steep savannahs, burning blue,
Utter to loneliness the sail is true.

Who grindest oar, and arguing the mast
Subscribest holocaust of ships, O Thou
Within whose primal scan consummately
The glistening seignories of Ganges swim; —
Who sendest greeting by the corposant,
And Teneriffe’s garnet — flamed it in a cloud,
Urging through night our passage to the Chan; —
Te Deum laudamus, for thy teeming span!

Of all that amplitude that time explores,
A needle in the sight, suspended north, —
Yielding by inference and discard, faith
And true appointment from the hidden shoal:
This disposition that thy night relates
From Moon to Saturn in one sapphire wheel:
The orbic wake of thy once whirling feet,
Elohim, still I hear thy sounding heel!

White toil of heaven’s cordons, mustering
In holy rings all sails charged to the far
Hushed gleaming fields and pendant seething wheat
Of knowledge, — round thy brows unhooded now
— The kindled Crown! acceded of the poles
And biassed by full sails, meridians reel
Thy purpose — still one shore beyond desire!
The sea’s green crying towers a-sway, Beyond

And kingdoms
naked in the
trembling heart —
Te Deum laudamus
O Thou Hand of Fire”

 

NAKED the boy screamed rippling and furious with emphasis, he knew he had to get this right.  His timing had to be perfect.  He would take gods spotlight but for a second.  In that silent moment when the wind refused, and the clock hand was shifting aimlessly, and human noise held its breath.  In gods allotted portion of 1 microsecond of every cycle, he would announce himself to the world and they would all understand his importance his seminal singular place in the world of men.

NAKED NAKED NAKED NAKED NAKED NAKED NAKED NAKED.

As expected the authorial and authoritarian tone of his first word coupled with the depth of the those following had signaled to the men gathered before him, that an alien presence of greater intellect and import had arrived. He thought, it’s nice to have all eyes on me.  I’ll have some more please.

Featured post

What Judge Holden’s Rolled In

You named him Judge Holden

wtf, why?

You wrote his name in book

Labeled

Next Up To Fry

Bet, she said

Check, said he

but chalk it up to narc

In the raiment of night

Ruarch is just pneumatic dispose

You got a rip in your spirit

To match the one in your hose

Unihemispheric

eyes tattooed on lids

So I can stay awake

Full effulgence

-Catfish dinner with some grits

Still riding on a mop handle, cursing like a grown up, panting;

Don’t ask me for the time its gone

Don’t task me more time, too long

Still riding on a mop handle, cursing like a grown up, panting;

of the great things

you will do.

All the world was made from naught?

Nothingness? Crowing now in stock?

If tis true indeed,

Then nothingness is trying to peak

And Naught appears to have sprung a leak.

Showing off her track marks, see?

Claiming she’s just a vaccinee?

Its all just you

Its never me.

Mercy at its most pure

is anarchy.

A reckoning, once rented out

has no right to look about.

City of refuge barometer broke

You get the lime

Ill dig the hole.

Absquatulate the squatter’s dream

Just a fence about a folderol

Clean sheets and some sleep

that is all

We fell in love in the war

and something in the ether stirred,

honoris causa-

Yes, my lord.

from the grave of showers

To the neck of chords

lo they make me feel like i was born to care

eel-like schematics; i lie for you too easily scare

destructors are ready

and the pawns all are still

for the charge is…..

all fucked

cut….

The enemies here,

Lights and he enters to an

an electrum of screams

Sewed into the seams

PROCLIVITAS

Bedazzled onto his hat

The easiest one to love or hate in the room

Dangling mutilation like it was a boon

We cannot forgive, for we hate ourselves

Cannot deliver, neither incense nor pills

Cannot be crowned, its got no Greeks

Cannot be free, its got no peaks

Cannot believe

For you cannot obey

Winds cease to whisper

About getting away

As the trolley man yells to, get the fuck off

What the hell are you gonna do?

Where is the horse and the rider

The horn that was blowing is shorn

as sonder sets

cromulent

as solipsism is quietly

reborn

Many minds but few see that the

truly amazing things

like

Nature gesturing…

go back the way you came.

You broke off for me

and I for you

but you died

what more was I to do?

Its just phonosphonese no ones real,

just wait n see

we hallucinated the whole thing

Yonder craved will break

the Maid

and the

The Merrymen

Whhuuuummmmp

you’re in air

Variegated

But you’ve no sails

On no hands

Metaphysical cannot be wood

Ineffable’s day has come and past

We tied that bitch

to the mast.

Shredding manifestos last-

breath the rest is but a fix-

in the foxhole,

King of Lyre is in repose

is your disssss-graccccce,

but the ssstate your in

Is slight distassste,

Of the you watching you

ride the mare off precipice,

Things in saddle,

seated backward

Sawing air

Giving proposals

On transmorphic dalliances

wishing they were syzygy

in epiphany of the golden line no one but you has ever seen

Until you plummet

Eyes still on me.

chasm

separating man

from what he should have done

from the faces

on which he should have blown

And now your eternity will begin undone

I check everyday in the mirror to see if its time.

Cry for the eternity in

man

Two shovelfuls of lime

seek to deform the perpetually

damned

I was never given a choice or a grin

Poisoned my lakes

Salted my fields

and yet I keep paying taxes

because that was the

deal

No more discovery

Just findin

laziest of all creatures is a poet, for they dont have long.

37fb9ad57a45e6e0d50371b0707717b7

 

Featured post

fromgodslitwrist

fromgodslitwrst

  1.  Halogen Incense

Daddy stopped when he left her car seat on the roof.

She was born into it.  Early she saw everyone was born similarly   She lived in horror at the world’s endless supply of heretics.

Consuming confusion was brilliant in her entrance.  A blinding that you tried to look through. The star, the yesteryear, the livid hopes; all under her banner.  She entered stage center, dazzled and smiled the smile of small deaths and caught breath.  Mississippi.  A single precious tear from Gods face, a single drop of blood from Gods slit wrist, dropped in th mud. Seemed the whole state was confused, she never understood that.  How was all a God’s country so turned around?  Sometimes she thought maybe it was in her eyes.

They were catching a bus Daddy said, but she didn’t figure as much.  She held his hand, comforting him.  Our Lady of Perpetual Grace was passed without so much as a spit.  Daddy wouldn’t look at it.  Catholics.  Mostly we called em the harlot.  She knew what a harlot was.  She’d been one.

Grady was supposed to be around Carthage.  Hard boys up there, Momma said.  Last time he was around he gave Momma some of his teeth.  They were always doing that type of thing.  They hugs was long uns.

Katherine Robertine Elizabeth Toter-Cobb.  We was all flummoxed by such a regal name.  Mama has some history attached to it but she only showed us the peeking corners and dirty obscurities.

Momma stole books and burned them after ‘eating’ them.  She’d whisper that it felt like eating anyway.   She’d say this every time. Perhaps these were only time she wasn’t listing.  Momma believed in divine winds.  She wouldn’t ever fight em. She wanted a hero, so bad.  Her favorites were the ones who died at the end.  Nothing confusing about that. 

Katy-Rob they called her.  Daddy called Momma pretentious.  Or pretty contentious. It was one of the only times she looked at him with love.  I ‘magine she thought it witty.  I know I did. After that look she went on to the pharmacy and Daddy went to buy tickets.    I caught up to her looking real intent on some new tennis shoes on this dude with a Cat hat n’ those damn sequined jeans.

Know when you gaze up and on a thing…cher, you change it?

I know that mama.

Oh youre so erudite, you.

What? 

Momma was Acadian and though she was supposed to be so smart she talked just like everyone else, cept kinda dumber for that couy’on shit.  In every picture I every saw of her she was showing her long white teeth, like she was trying to sell something. Later I came to see she was trying to prove to the world she wasn’t poor.

 Id seen Mama do some sketchy shit, some wicked shit…one time she rented Grady out for 3 months.  Stabbed a girl in Germantown outside a Memphis because she was too high.  In the heat of demon attack mama looked  sinistral, eyes seemed almost all black and shadows moved about her profile like they was alive.  Face would be all fucked up.  I hated looking at her like that.  You just wanted to put yourself in-between her and that.

I wrote a poem for her.  She loved to dance.  Long lines a sweat in every right place.  Everyone looked at her when she was dancing… like they everyone wanted to hump ’er…momma had dat juju.

We leak through the clicks you clock

and mourn for the rocks

we see carried about

Demure with reverence

but cannot rationalize

just feel within

as we all watch our loved ones spin

to try and place an eye on the thing

That produces the suffering

and in this spinning habitual

it metastasized into ritual

and the dance

in its ignorance

is beautiful

lenocinant

sinistral

and i wish we could all be still

“Feet pue tan, mi amor”

Mama don’t cuss.  Never would.

I loved lines like that. The whole lot of us lived on that line.

There wasn’t ever gonna be any bus, and she was startlingly not shamed by his lie.  Heretics.  Small feet kicked at a Fanta Orange.  Katy-Rob couldn’t be sure if they was black or dirty so she  looked up a bit.  Confusing who was proper and who wasn’t.  She’d heard some ministers ministerin’ on keeping birds with birds and cows with cows. 

 She wanted to scratch when she itched but she never did.

Holed up at the non-denominational she took a moment to do her 4th dailies while she watched the transactions.  Time and money for peace of mind, she knew there was no equanimity in that purchase for how can you sell somin inside the body.  Only time she felt that was in the rock and roll church’s, that precious theater inside her heart singing out the most amazing dance numbers.  Gold and purple feelings. Like Mamma’s Tigers.

Bus trip in the none-to-crisp suit pocket, they stayed for the Wed. prayer meetin.  “Lord, clarity!?” is all she heard.

She let em.  In her mind she wouldn’t say any of them words, though she knew em all. Not anymore.  School want ever much of an option.  She imagined she’d gone some 86 days counting Sunday school. Down in Delta Daddy drove the pickers and  Momma would help her people at the gin.  She guessed they also make juniper liquor, but she had never seen anybody so much as talking too much.

Usually she let em.  Long as Grady wasn’t in the county or parish.

Carthage

Inside of the pain management clinic Momma wagged a smidgen more than usual.

The Cave.  Yeah she felt like she understood what that peasant man had been on about.  Inside of her the beasts walked behind her eyes projecting outward before the flame.  Spirit.  It was in there, everyone cept the great harlot believed that, maybe the Jews too. 

 The connection with the nebulous.  A shadow moving over the death waters.  Spirit.  All of us believed in it, we just didn’t know what it did exactly.  People loved to say ‘god-bless’ or ‘Lord have mercy’ without any effect registerin’.  To my mind that just made it a cuss word.

She loved the swamp.  Would try and draw it out on some papers she kept in a plastic sack.  She would rub the expensive paper between her fingers and something stirred.    The cicadas song was richer there, the air tugged back, weightier somehow.  She felt like her house would one day be in the swamp, clapboard painted green with mesh to keep out the critters but not else.

It sounded like a side of deboned meat being hit with a Louisville slugger, he’d been there and few people went around with bats.  Guns mainly.  Breaking his hand had been a salvation.  He thought he’d found religion but he’d found instead a boy from Colombia.  Alerts rang.  Grady felt drugs were a last option.  Open but last on line.  Everyone he grew up with said  “in line” but Grady was careful with his mastery of what he considered the only separation betwixt man and dog. 

Manfreid Israel Romele was Russian.  Perhaps German.  Older.  Beautiful.  Cement blonde. How is a fighter so beautiful?  Grady knew. 

Smoldering halogen incense prayed for them.  Pissing on the carhood altar.

         The boy was a fucking nightmare.  Glowed. Darkness.  He’d seen it before.  Everything was loose when he prayed, like the boy standing feet away, steam roiling off of his neck, with “Molon Labe” tatted across the front of  his windpipe, where he got hit 45 seconds later.

         The Chevelle was purple and Grady wouldn’t lean on it.  Surrounding the Big Red Barn choking the purity of the moment were the ‘chickens’.   Grady had said, ”clucking foul” but his folk just spit out the gumbo.  Grady did not respect a man who watched blood-sports. 

Ancient and comfortable.  It was more than he could bear, of at time he would sit in the pot till he’d eatin it.  A marvel of his power, kneeling on the commode in communion.  Particles of hay and heat, cicada’s his private herald. Easy 220.   Easy.  Against his knees fabric calmed his fingers, he thought of his sister; the smile closed.  He thought of Teddy on his horse, the pompous, articulate fool.

“It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood…”

So fucking obvious, like ham-in-hand. Natchitoches.  Ham-in-Hand Festival 94.  You could walk across the Sabine on boats, smells of the Cajun Microwave’s buried in the soft loam some 100 paces from the water.  Whole hogs stuffed with chickens and doves.  Grady wondered if dogs trusted smell the way humans subscribed to sight.  It was over tween them and he should have seen it.  Grady looked coldly at his need.  Only the slightest of scowls.  Chemicals he thought, chemicals and blips.

         He didn’t think it much, to go to war. He was plied with Mozi, Xenophon and 1st Chronicles 4:10 early.  Daddy leaning over him and pointing to sketches momma had drawn to go with the Gideon Bible which was in constant circumlocution with others of its ilk.  He always walked hunkered down, tied firmly to many things that were not tied to him. 

         She scuttled over the grooved Cyprus, kaleidoscope of man reduced, he saw her; languidly absorbing the violence to come. Beneath her impressive multi-spectacled visage was her load, atwitter.  Looked of fine hairs in a sharp breeze, her brood beneath her belly.  She leaned back as if to sit or box or pray, front legs circling in the direction of the bigger man’s dead face.

Lawd have a way, boy you ready?

The man was a fat, suspender framing a whet shirt with nowhere to go came up on Grady’s boy Ara too fast.

Ok we ready?

Ill kill you ifin you don’t step back.

Things was tight, Grady knew all bout this here.

Aight then.

Theys a bit a nonsense bout that bet?

No.  Straight up.

Mine’ll be in money orda?

Ara’d get it after the fight now, cause I’ll be on my way, Briar Rabbit style, gros cul.

Fat man took on a greasy bugger as backward he moved, “that man fittin to fuck you.”

Tingle.  Mmmmmmm.  Grady felt like Ehud preparing to assassinate the fat king Eglon of Moab. 

Hear that Schvartze, eer dat fat man.

God give me a verse.  He chewed a small hangnail. 

Ha.  He knew it. 2 Kings 9:20, 20 The watchman [a]reported, “He came even to them, and he did not return; and the driving is like the driving of Jehu the son of Nimshi, for he drives furiously.”

The Lord gave this verse a lot.

Ehud and Jehu. Lawd have mercy son.

This boy was  car black, and it really aint right, that type a black.  That sheen of purple that made Grady think of dinosaurs and that painter Turner. Give em almost like invisibility at night.  And nobody wants that shit. It’s like that shine you can see you’re reflection in… but it gives pause cause it’s a black you staring back. How fucking mad you’d be.    Grady wouldn’t look at those shiny black cars, he even avoided dark purple.

Fat man giggled into his cerchief and sat down on a bale; he thought, looking toward the unimpressive white boy, that this’d be soon over.

Grady prayed a bit, squatted and thought of something like a dwarf star painted on a canvas the side of the barn. 

He knew the boy’d come over the top and heavy, he knew hed move left and the boy’d come in with a quick step and a lunge at his knees.   All the cat in that man was now cutting its way to the top.  the breath was bull-like in intensity but shallow. The red rims mean he’s a drinker probably and he favored his left knee a bit.  Grady felt sorry then.  Sorry for his life and his momma, sorry for the man who was gonna try a kill him, sorry for the fat man who bet against his own kind, sorry that Mississippi water that he smelled on everything was growing less pungent.   Sorry God was real and poetry was to hang him.  Sometimes things seeded afor birth ripen when they aint wanted.  He always felt tears was fine where laughter was.

         They drummed him out of the military for being too young.  Sure at that time it would be the catalyst for a life riding the dark horse, he considered killing himself but didn’t.  Grady’d look in the mirror most days to check and see if it was time.

I read somewhere that poor people typically name their kids names like Unique, Kandy, Sherry  and Amber.  Later, I read somewhere that girls with some particular names wind up being hookers and dancers and in the porno’s.  It bothered me it took two studies to not say that poor girls went to stripping a shade faster than rich ones.  Academicians are so fucking stupid.  Not only this but everyone knew that strippers changed their names.  I thought then and think now I should be in charge of a hair more.

I guess I followed her around some.  I remember the taste of bubble-gum scented shampoo and her face.  We were protective of each other as should be expected.  Daddy woednt too much of a provider, nor a daddy.  I guess she burned out that wild streak cause she came back directly.

“I wish I was in Dixie, hurrah hurrah

In Dixie land Ill take my stand to live and die in Dixie.

Oh way

Oh way

Oh way down south….. in Dixie.”

She loved the word Dixie, long as I knew her though I believe she thought it more of a state of being, like glory or honor.  She may ah never known it was holding all our heads under water.  Grady knew all about it and loved it anyway.  Some things just don’t figure.  Soon as I could I got out. Not sure anyone else ever did, not really.

I remember him takin pictures of her holding onto a lit lighter and a squeeze bottle a lighter fluid.

I remember when the men came in and he couldn’t protect us.  He tried.  Grady says, “tryin dyin.” 

I read an article somewhere bad things happen to poorer people more often, it was more nuanced than that but that’s what I got.

“Katy-Rob, bring us that phone.”

“your cellular phone?”

“We aint go no…little smart-alec.”

She was always doin stuff like that.  I couldn’t ever figure who she was making fun of, Daddy or this Democratic Republic.  Maybe Jonny Locke.

Momma was a Rhodes Scholar, I do not know how.

The slovenly way she met my laughter got her a lick. She called herself red velvet, not a nickname, her color. Said mamma was white as the driven snow cept a little Cocoa and a dash’a red food colorin. At a certain age I started realizing that I was gonna be mostly for myself, like my cousin Fay. I took to strippin like anybody’s business. First night in, this little Indian girl told me we do private parties, all naked. I couldn’t see much difference anyhow. It was illegitimate and the girls were indifferent to the men sucking on their titties and stuff. It just suited me fine.

I told Grady that he was to keep my little sister outta my world. There was only room in Carthage for one Cobb stripper.

The striker clicked down and something happened but it sure did not fire a round. White slipstream stepped quickly and quietly inside and hit the man with the gun in the throat. That noise is a thing. Everyone knew he’d done killed him. Grady remembered Niccki Bercham getting punched just so and dying.  He guessed he coulda just knocked the gun away.  Somewhere, someone was probably holding a little nigglet, waiting on daddy to call. It’d be a wait.

There were eight Cobbs all said but they slithered off, most of em anyway, to Bama and Nam and Peru. Doesn’t matter too much because once they left sight of the Mississippi River, they was good as dead.

Why’d they decide to try and kill him? Grady had a small warrant out on him that left the Boss little choice. That’s what I heard.

Theys four of us around and we all came.  Amber, Bo, Katy, and me. Grady stood up from a Shaker stool he loved.

Grady said they’d maybe come for one of us.

They got Katy Rob two nights later, sent in her fron tooth wit they diamond set in it. Fucked up but shed done talked about rippin it out her own self.

Similies was supposed to be a real swanky joint but it was not. Owner by strategery has built a damn motel in the back. Lord have mercy, sulphur factory. I went to pills in the first month. Once you have gonna church and believe, shit gets real hard to do…after the first couple times anyway.

Grady wasn’t blood related to all the girls and he knew to divide his attentions. You cant just go around fighting the whole wrestling team. Amber was neck-tatted and out from around at 14. Our older cousins had done some strippin down on the redneck riveria and I reckon it called her harder’n dope.

Katy took to the hard life too but came back to me and Daddy, Momma and her never cared to talk to one another. She came back quieter and only wore beige and grey. She wrote long letters to Amber and cried some but I would have had her cry all the time if’n she’d just stay.

You’se too young buddy.

I knew you’d say that shit.,

Amber drove up in a fucking Infinity with something clanking under the jappy hood. I knew Grady wouldn’t even look at her, not even one time.

Amber and me gonna go talk to Joe-Block. See if we can figure something out.

There wasn’t any reason to hate Grady for being what he was but I had me a weapon too.

I never knew a way to complete the things that others completed. I reckon I’m slow or I ain’t totally grown up yet.   Somin’. When I saw those men take Katy and beat Daddy, there was some sort of wet click and I seemed of a sudden to be able to see it all. The vast expanse and the precipitous nature of the wealthy and the bright. left us all killing each other over a double wide and an abortion.

I watched myself, knowin somehow I had made a decision that was about being a man, about being a Cobb n’ a Toten but there wasn’t anything movie about it.  I stole a ladies cruiser out front a the Winn Dixie and played with myself all the way to Biloxi.  I felt greasy and popped a pimple on my back.  Somehow the Ruger felt lighter the further south we went, like it was becoming less offended by its own.

I was in love with the purity of my little brother.  He would never talk to me in front of other people but in private he asked after my girlfriends and me.  Once I got a bit too graphic and he white’nd up so I was sure he was gonna kill me.  I think he’s still a virgin at 24.

I had made 1200.  I have no damn clue where that fucking money is now.  Jessie and I were working on a routine, she had this idea for a ‘concept piece’ with Moors and an allusion to the Hearst family but we just wound up kissing and smoking cigarettes till it was our turn.

They could see her now.  More whispers to Letty, “This place gone turn out.”

Two men hug each other. Horizontal with copy space.

let em

“mmm”

“Im gone go bump th doe man and see if he got a piece.”

Letty smiled a ray of rancid rainbow.

5’1 or 5’3 he guessed.  Wadnt no 5’2.  Tatted up like her momma didn’t give a fuck.  A little bump in his chest somewhere reminded him of another girl, another stripper, another piece of meat in the wily trades of men.

She caught his eye and may have winked, which sent Letty whom everyone called Lessy to the potty to laugh in the stall. 

Men with huge dicks walk a bit different she whispered to a man sticking a 10 in her g.  Lets the whole world who cares to know.  The roxi’s in  her were turning everything a little less than, like life was amped up but she was at regular speed.   She kept seeing > signs.  In the glass of the bowl, in her reflective panties, in her eyes in the cracke john mirra.   Pulling his head she thought momentarily of licking his ear but these was Halliburton boys, fresh oft the rig and in Hub City to be jackass’s but not to take a good shower.

When she threw up the front row moved toward anywhere that wasn’t there.  Same time a rukus in the commode and a gunshot out the back. 

A week later a tall boy walks in and politely asks after Robert-Earl.  No one really wanted to tell him.

Everything I did the hardest I ever done.  I worked all my life with Daddy at whatever we was doing then so I always knowed I could throw a bale a bit harder than most.  I was always taught to be polite even if they weren’t, so I thought Id just ask after Katys old boss.  Figured with his lip Id go on ahead.  His eye popped out with that first one, his ocular cavity crushed, and I walked toward the back looking at the mirrors for boys coming up on me.  I know I punched some girls and I hope to high hell they aint no videotape a me but when it started in earnest it couldn’t be helped.  I know one of em kissed me on the back of my neck while I was stomping on this colored boys.  Heard later he got paralyzed some.  Gottim a check anyway. 

I learned that night why mama said them Carthage boys is hard. Robert-Earl. I had a drown his brother in front a him and it wernt no easy thing.

Amocitea

Your Daddy aint gonna recognize you.

Still that little girl.  When under all of it, peach flame tripped along at the word.  She wanted so much for him to swoop, it was pure.  A clean thing, her vision of Daddy just doing what all real animals did.  Maybe he was too human.

That golden blanket that she just expected to keep on being, didn’t; and she stepped out really believing that they was gentlemen in this South, in this here state.  One night looking deep in her own eyes while everyone elses in the room were on her crotch she realized that this southern thang was  a crock.  She spected Margaret Mitchell probably just cold wishin like every other Dixie brat split-tail.  It was a precious pity that she thought in that manner, she thought…probably affecting her self-image or the like.

She’s hurt I felt.  Hurt people, hurt people but with such a swirlin tide, a man just got to decide when to jump in, not if.

Once I heard that Grady involved everybody in his business, I knew I hadda get us outta town.  I didn’t really think Momm’d come wit her doctors here and whatever else she was into.  Since Id come back from the Wilderness I had taken to wearing full length skirts and not shaving.  I know my flesh well and I knew that just like this skirt, I could put it back on rrrrrreeeeeaaaalllllly quick.  And that’s the plan, back to the hotel to make us some money.

Half-way from the bus-stop to the club I thought just maybe I was being a bit drastic, but I cant remember what my next thought was after that.

Bo adjusted the mirror on the 91 Olds to see if he’d indeed gotten dip on his collar.  A birth canal in the back seat caused him to blink for a second longer than average.  The strip-club owners Daddy used to be a Marine and it showed.  Punching and biting his way out of the trunk into the car was a feat, Bo’d be the first to tell ya.  He’d blindfolded, zip tied and hit the man with 75000 Watts but this Minotaur was now in the backseat.  Fucking Carthaginians. 

They realized quick they’d done fucked up with this one.  She prayed aloud all day long, was unfailingly polite and every chance she got she tried to kill em.  Lessy had knocked her tooth out purely on accident but after he reckoned the diamond to be fake, he sent it on to the boss.   Almost all his spare time went to kittens. More had received some care from a witch the Dixie Mafia used for dogs.  Little bitch had fought harder than any man ever would.  In the end she’d ripped off a testicle and with that they put her in box.   She calmly told em she couldn’t breath.

I hada shoot him through the seat and we wrecked.  He was hurt even worse, so I lit a floor mat afire and ran off in the other directin than Angola, Fuck that, Daddy’d worked there as a guard for 3 days till they done found out he’d been in Parchman for vehicular homicide.  Mamma said that great clouds a nephalim hung over those places.  I couldn’t see them but I smelled em.  Mamma and Katy-Rob always had eyes for that type of thing.  Maybe they both lyin though. 

I figured theyd run they dogs from around the car so I needed to get gone.

Did not like taken anything from white folks, I did not know how I was gonna pay for that ladies car I done wrecked but it’d get done.  The little Kawasaki three wheeler cranked up nice and I left them my hunting license to show good faith.

You aint gonna believe this shit.

Francis-Jean Prichideaux III really could have done without hearing another person say that.  It seemed to preface every comment.  As a boy he’d felt something akin to the feeling he had now when other nut-brown Acadian boy’s ud say, “Wanna see something…hold my beer.”

Nothing good eva come outta dem type a commentary’s.

What?

Claudius came over with a note.  Says here that Similies had another big da-doo.

Whan?

Last night.

Itd been 2 weeks since they colored boys come up in that terrible place and Blanc Bebbette got taken, now what dis shit?

Dixie Mafia used for dogs.  Little bitch had fought harder than any man ever would.  In the end she’d ripped off a testicle and with that they put her in box.   She calmly told em she couldn’t breath.  More heard, “I feel free.” thought long and hard about that medicine Melodina  gave him,  the plan was he was, of a time, to go back.  ER out the wustion.  She told him he could still sire a brood, if he chose.

Right now the chose was in nose.  That moment, eternal, universal, when you know for certain that thing are bout to get lit.

I hada shoot him through the seat and we wrecked.  He was hurt even worse, so I lit a floor mat afire and ran off in the other directin than Angola, Fuck that, Daddy’d worked there as a guard for 3 days till they done found out he’d been in Parchman for vehicular homicide.  Mamma said that great clouds a nephalim hung over those places.  I couldn’t see them but I smelled em.  Mamma and Katy-Rob always had eyes for that type of thing.  Maybe they both lyin though. 

I figured theyd run they dogs from around the car so I needed to get gone.

Did not like taken anything from white folks  I did not know how I was gonna pay for that ladies car I done wrecked but it’d get done.  The little Kawasaki three wheeler cranked up nice and I left them my hunting license to show good faith.

You aint gonna believe this shit.

Francis-Jean Prichideaux III really could have done without hearing another person say that.  It seemed to preface every comment.  As a boy he’d felt something akin to the feeling he had now when other nut-brown Acadian boy’s ud say, “Wanna see something…hold my beer.”

Nothing good eva come outta dem type a commentary’s.

What?

Claudius came over with a note.  Says here that Similies had another big da-doo.

Whan?

Last night.

Itd been 2 weeks since them colored boys come up in that terrible place and Blanc Bebbette got taken, now what dis shit? Least he didn’t have any crackers around to be yapping about…”oh what now you gonna do colored ssherrff”

         The problem we have with God honey is related to expectations and not based in the hard VERITAS of life.  See here, what happens when youo to church?

I listen to the preacher

Right, sure but when you’re singing a good Hallelujah song. Or something real once make you cry every time.  That jut Him leeting us know that we are cared for.s like that one goes, “Lord You are more precious than silver…

Lord You are more costly than gold.

Together, “Lord You are more beautiful than diamonds.

And nothing I desire compares to You.”

Lord, honey you have a voice like angel blast-furnace.  When you get that deep purple swell….

Purple and Gold.

Yesssa, and that is the real thing and it is a thing that belongs in this world yet has a hand fully in the next.  But what you looking for there is that feeling to keep on keepin on.

Yessir.

But it don’t.

No.

Is that Gods problem or yours?

I feel like sometimes it is Him.

Cause you just go home and go straight to sinning.

And I wonder why in all His Greatness, I just can’t get a little help in that department.

But you care don’t ya?

I care a great deal.   I expect it’s my conscience.

Yes.  But a conscience ain’t a stopper, it’s just a fuse light indicator.

So then where’s the stopper?

That’s the catch.

Meaning its all up to me.

Honey, you ever look at a real life hero?

Maybe Rooster Carley?

Hmm.  Ain’t none. He died 2000 years ago, therebouts. Now we just hunker down.  Oh you gone sin.   I’m gone sin.  Yo Mamma, Lawd have a way.  Its not about ‘not doin’ its about accepting your place in grace.

My place in grace.

From behind him mamma stepped, lightly, elegant specter.  White on white on white, yet the air hovered lightly around it as if mistrusting.  Mama’s essence was rebellion.  Born with a dead twin boy, she lay never crying once in granny’s arms.  Said she wouldn’t look nobody in the eye.  They was alarmed from the get go.  Mamma was said to have spent some of her teen years in Walnut Gove.  She supposed to have found God in there, in the gladiator school.  Once when she came home to the Shady Acres #3 after being out for a minute, she took me and we sat behind the dumpster; she told me about the first love of her life while she smoked up a cool bill a rock.  Some people get all crazy scared of people on hard drugs, like they got special powers or summin.  I ain’t but but a buck and change and I’m telling you I have cold knocked fuckers out who go too close.  It’s best just to warn white folks up front, but when mamma slumming or Im at school and we dealing wit regular street niggas, I just stay loose, if mamma grab and go…then well, Im just down wit mine.

Oh Daddy.

I love my Daddy…

What are ya’ll ssscheming on.  Lemme see your billfold.

Daddy’s trying to tell me all the war we got with sin is just an illusion.

Woman, that’s not what I said.

That we have to learn to accept our weakness as part of life.  And personally for me, cause I listen to all them preachers and I read all them books and I pray on the Bible…I do it all with a knife in my belt and Im down for the clan but I do not wanna keep on living this way.

Ooh its one of them talks, you…what your daddy is remise in sharing is that there are other forces at work in this world.

NO.

Well talk later honey.

We never did. 

I believe Mamma occupies some special place in this world, like a gold key that is made for just one lock, the most magnificent things await behind it; but you put that fucker in your back pocket with a handkerchief and they key is lost in the Misty Mountains.    Myrrh and aloe and decay and female sex and the heat after summer rain and moss and Cyprus and dawn and linen white.  Mamma mind was fine.  Mammas body was the problem.  She worshipped it to hurt her. 

She saw a movie once at the Motel 6 in Latham Springs Texas called Jennifer’s Body, she said that though the metaphor was sloppy and the genre “totally let LA” a poor excuse, yet she understood that somehow this connected us, because I was watching her becoming self aware. 

Of an aspect only I believe, but a crack in the wall blinked a purple light in my eye and I realized that indeed “the affections of the heart are Divine”.  If God dropped the veil once in a while, it somehow ran through my mother.

But even though I am slower than other folks, I can tell you that if Daddy believes that things are moving behind the scenes and mamma sees em too.  Man, these things are making them worse…not better.

CRY, LIFE

Cry, life

Palatine and Gilgamesh with resected demarcations,

 spent their lives in absolution

Of an oven-roasted naked.

Seek the things which are abreast,

Which coalesce in the dry season,

Seek the gathering, not the song

Alight with lying feelings.

Lamentations has it right

Flashlight for cellar door

Packing all your pocket’sies

With nails, dirt and lore.

We’ve seen the things

Tasted them

To us it may be fine

But for the likes of you

Tread lightly on the knife

Or else in accidentalness’

Your soul from spirit wrent,

Spirit from the spine.

Spine becomes the gimp.

Gen 3

Genesis 3:8 And they heard the sound of the LORD God walking about in the garden in the cool of the day, and the man and his wife hid themselves from the presence of the LORD Godamong the trees of the garden. 

*{Man was fallen.  He was naked and ashamed.  When they heard the sound of God coming in the garden, they hid themselves.  This is very interesting and instructive.  Fallen mankind goes to great effort to “hide” from God.  To block God out of their thinking, to deny Him, to imagine He doesn’t exist.  Man is not at peace in his conscience, knows he is “naked”, is very self-consciousness, and lives in the fear of death— yet he still hides from the only One who can help him.
* But this section is also very interesting because God apparently came “looking” for the fallen man.  Man was and still is the object of God’s love.  Even fallen man.  Verse 8 & 9 show how God comes to seek man — God, great and high, doesn’t demand that man come up to heaven to find Him and repent — NO, Godcomes down to earth to find man.  This is love.  And this is also the story of the New Testament.  The Son of God, emptied Himself, taking the form of a lowly slave, came to seek man, to live among men and even to die for men (Phil 2:5-11).  Luke’s gospel chapter 7 vs 34 says that Jesus came as a “friend of sinners” — and also in chapter 15 that He came as a Good Shepherd to seek and to find just one lost sheep.  While we hide from God, yet God still comes to seek us and to find us}*
Gen 3:9 And Jehovah God called to the man and said to him, Where are you?*{Did the Omniscient God really not know where man was hiding or what he was doing * I don’t think so.  Why then did He ask that question?  And why does He continue to ask ever man today that same question? — Even each of us reading this email * “Where are you?” — Are we living in fear, in self-consciousness and shame, trying various “fig-leaves” to cover our situation. A little story from my own life might also help might make it clear as to why God might ask man this question:
*STORY* ~ When I was in 3rd or 4th grade at LSU Lab School, I was playing with 2 of my good friends, Guy Cangelosi and Harry Barrow, on a rainy day.  We were outside playing football in a large mud-puddle *  Our “field” was the mud puddle * Our student teacher (a young education co-ed student at LSU) was so distraught when she saw us that she brought her supervisor and the Principal, Dr Garrett, out to deal with us * The principal looked at us covered from head to toe with mud, standing in the large mud puddle, and asked us — “What are you doing?” * The answer to that question was pretty “self-evident” — but I guess Dr Garrett wanted us to “consider and acknowledge” what we were doing and why we were doing it — and we did}*
Gen 3:10 And he said, I heard the sound of You in the garden, and I was afraid because I am naked; so I hid myself.
*{The man answered first.  He said he heard the sound of God and was afraid because he was nakedandhid.  This is man’s condition today, living in fearself-conscious, and hiding from God}
Gen 3:11 And He said, Who told you that you are naked? Have you eaten of the tree of which I commanded you not to eat?
*{God’s reply is very instructive — “Who told you that you are naked?” Where did this knowledge come from?}*
Gen 3:12And the man saidThe womanwhom You gave to be with me, she gave me fruitfrom the tree, and I ate.
*{Classic response — blame someone else.  And notice, the man blames BOTH the woman ANDGod(because it was God who gave her to the man in the first place)}*
Gen 3:13 And the LORD God said to the woman, What is this that you have done? And the woman said, The serpent deceived me, and I ate.
*{After the husband blames his wife, God patiently turns to the woman and asks her what is this thatyou have done”.  And the guilty blame-game continues — she blames the serpent.*We will consider how God deals with the serpent tomorrow — but it is very different than His dealing with the man or the woman — no questions asked — only an immediate curse.  And then He will also speak to the man and the woman about some of the consequences of their actions}*

by Ima Chuck

check 5:30 am

I check every day, in the mirror, to see if its time.

Cry for the eternity in

man

Two shovelfuls of lime

seek to deform the perpetually

damned

I was never given a choice or a grin

Poisoned my lakes

Salted my fields

and yet I keep paying taxes

because

that

was

the

deal.

Solemn Redux

Terror.  Every morning lit with.  Someone to trust has ceased being a fantasy.  The way people felt now was none of my business, so I let it go; yet the yellow curled post-it remained behind my desk.  When one of them wanted to spring clean my house, I let her.  Nostalgia Jones was famous in her own rite, for the Developmental Theory of Supra-Acceptance.  Most of them stayed but a month, upon reading what Was she became gone and Jonny Cash’s rendition of Reznor played on loop.  What had I become?  I didn’t know, but it was not aimed, just general  pendulous momentums and willfulness.  On occasion I wouldn’t remember their names, so “hon” was ubiquitous, until at  the Circle K the girl said that was offensive.   Pardon madame. So now I’m a whore?  There was little winning left for me, my days were in the belly of the locusts.  Millennials at war with a culture that I tasted, touched, and smelled.  The last time I said the n word had come and gone and my vernacular leaned heavily left but bereft of weight.  Just appearance.  Myspace squared.

ASS-101

Anti-Semitism 101

Anti-Semitism is the term used to refer to prejudice or discrimination directed against Jews. The term was coined in the 19th century and the phenomenon itself reached its apex in the Nazi era, when racially based hatred of Jews, rooted in dark conspiracies about Jewish power, culminated in the murder of six million European Jews. But many believe the roots of anti-Semitism go back to the dawn of Christianity and the charge that Jews were responsible for the killing of Jesus.


READ: How Do You Define Anti-Semitism? It’s Complicated.


In contemporary times, overt expressions of anti-Semitism are not widely tolerated in Western countries. However, classical anti-Semitic stereotypes about Jews persist and occasionally find expression in public discourse. Anti-Jewish violence and acts of vandalism and intimidation remain a global problem, with the number of reported anti-Semitic incidents in the United States and Europe spiking in recent years, according to a number of studies.

Anti-Jewish violence also tends to increase during times of unrest in the Middle East, leading some to believe the nature of anti-Semitism is morphing into hatred of Israel, a development that has been called the “new anti-Semitism.” In this view, excessive criticism of Israel or challenging its right to exist crosses the line from legitimate criticism into anti-Jewish bigotry. However, others say that opposing Israeli policies or even challenging Israel’s right to exist are legitimate viewpoints and do not necessarily imply hatred of Jews.

European Anti-Semitism Before the Holocaust

Anti-Semitism is sometimes called the world’s oldest hatred. The term itself is commonly attributed to Wilhelm Marr, a 19th-century German journalist who believed that Jews were racially distinct from Germans and could never be assimilated into German culture. Hatred of Jews, however, is much older, dating by some accounts to the early Christian era and the belief that Jews were collectively guilty of killing Jesus — a view that remained Catholic doctrine until 1965. For centuries, anti-Jewish ideas found their way into the writings of some of history’s most prominent and oft-quoted Christian thinkers, among them Saint Augustine, Martin Luther and Thomas Aquinas.

In Europe during the Middle Ages, edicts barred Jews from citizenship, owning land, marrying Christians, serving in government and joining various professional guilds. A number of stereotypes about Jews emerged in this period, including the myth that Jews have horns and that they are greedy and money-grubbing, a belief given expression by Shakespeare in the character of Shylock from “The Merchant of Venice.” The myth that Jews engage in ritual murder led to blood libel, the claim that Jews use the blood of Christian children for the making of Passover matzah.

(Wikimedia Commons)
Plundering of Frankfurt’s Jewish ghetto, in 1614. (Matthäus Merian/Wikimedia)

Anti-Jewish stereotypes were often used a pretext for collective punishment of Jews. During the Crusader period, Christian armies en route to liberate the Holy Land from Muslim control swept through Jewish communities, raping and massacring along the way. Beginning in the 13th century European Jews were forced to convert to Christianity or were expelled from a number of countries, most famously Spain in 1492, uprooting a long established and highly accomplished Jewish community. The belief that Jews were responsible for the Black Death in the 14th century led to the violent annihilation of countless Jewish communities throughout Europe. Jews were also commonly scapegoated for problems as varied as pandemics and crop failures. Anti-Jewish pogroms, or riots, occurred periodically in Europe throughout the late Middle Ages and into the modern period.

Even after the emancipation of Europe’s Jews beginning in the late 18th century, when Jews were no longer restricted to ghettos and were allowed full citizenship rights in many countries, anti-Semitism persisted in Europe. “The Protocols of the Elders of Zion,” a forgery that purported to be minutes of the secret meetings of Jewish leaders bent on world domination, was first published in Russia in 1903 and later translated and disseminated widely. Eastern European pogroms factored into the decisions of millions of Jews to emigrate to the United States beginning in 1880. (The desire for better economic opportunities was also a critical factor.) The prosecution of Alfred Dreyfus, a French Jewish army officer falsely convicted of treason in 1894, came to be seen as a symbol of the enduring perniciousness of European anti-Semitism.

The Holocaust and its Aftermath

Deportation of Polish Jews to Treblinka extermination camp from the ghetto in Siedlce, 1942, occupied Poland. (Wikimedia Commons)

In the 20th century, anti-Semitism took on a distinctly racial quality. Nazi-era propaganda portrayed Jews as biologically distinct from white Europeans and possessing telltale physical characteristics, including large hooked noses and thick curly hair. Adolf Hitler’s belief that Jews were racially inferior and posed a threat to the pure blood of Aryans inspired the Nuremberg Laws of 1935, which prohibited sex and marriage between Jews and Germans and barred Jews from German citizenship. Eventually it would lead to Germany’s attempt to exterminate the Jewish people.

After the Holocaust, overt expressions of anti-Semitism ceased to be widely tolerated in Western Europe, and in some countries, Holocaust denial and the display of Nazi symbols were criminalized. In 1965, the Catholic Church adopted Nostra Aetate, which declared that modern Jews could not be held collectively responsible for the killing of Jesus, removing the theological justification for centuries of European anti-Semitism. This doctrinal shift has ushered in an era of unprecedented Jewish-Catholic reconciliation, though small pockets of traditionalist resistance to the change persist within the church.

As the memory of the Holocaust has receded in the postwar period, some of the taboo against explicit anti-Semitism has weakened and some right-wing European parties have openly embraced Nazi-era symbols and rhetoric. However, several countries have prosecuted individuals for Holocaust denial.

Anti-Semitism in the United States

The lynching of Leo Frank, Aug. 17, 1915. (Wikimedia Commons)

American Jews have never suffered the systematic denial of rights comparable to what their coreligionists endured in Europe. The U.S. Constitution, with its explicit guarantee of freedom of religion, prevented adoption of the explicitly anti-Jewish laws prevalent in Europe over the centuries. But with the arrival of large numbers of Jews in the late 19th century, and their rapid socio-economic advancement in the early 20th, Jews came to face exclusion from various clubs and organizations, tightened admissions quotas at institutions of higher learning, and restrictions from certain resorts and residential areas.

One notable anti-Semitic incident in American history, which some compared to France’s Dreyfus Affair, was the 1915 lynching of Leo Frank, whose death sentence for murder had earlier been commuted by the governor of Georgia due to questions about his guilt. The case drew national attention and led to the establishment of the Anti-Defamation League.

Explicit public anti-Semitism was rare but not unheard of in modern America. In the 1930s, Charles Coughlin, a Michigan priest, began using his radio program to advocate anti-Semitic ideas and marshal support for Adolf Hitler. Henry Ford, the famed American car manufacturer, published the four-volume “The International Jew” in the 1920s, which was later translated into German and embraced by the Nazis. Aviator Charles Lindbergh, a member of the America First Committee that opposed intervention in World War II, claimed Jews wielded too much influence over American politics and were eager to drag the country toward war.

In the 1960s, anti-Semitism was embraced in certain quarters of the growing black nationalist movement. In 1970, black activist Stokely Carmichael famously called Hitler the greatest white man in history. And Nation of Islam leader Louis Farrakhan has long railed against Jews and their supposed control of the American government. Similar ideas have also found support among American white nationalists, most prominent among them David Duke, a former KKK leader and former member of the Louisiana state legislature.

Anti-Semitism in the Muslim World

Sayid Amin al-Husseini, the grand mufti of Jerusalem, meets with Adolf Hitler in 1941. (German Federal Archives)

On the whole, Jews have historically fared far better under Muslim rule than in Christian Europe. Though anti-Jewish stereotypes do exist in Islamic sources, there is nothing to rival the extent of anti-Jewish sentiment that exists in Christian sources, nor is there a history of violence and persecution equal to what Jews faced in Europe. Jews living in Muslim lands were accorded a second-class citizenship that afforded certain protections while reinforcing subordination to full Muslim citizens, forcing Jews to pay higher taxes and wear distinctive badges or clothing. According to the historian Bernard Lewis, the latter requirement was enforced erratically, and was one of the few instances of Christian Europe adopting a tactic of Jewish segregation from the Muslim world.

For the most part, anti-Semitic ideas that took root in the Muslim world were European imports, a trend Lewis dates to the 19th century. By the 20th century, some Arab leaders were openly embracing the Nazis, most famously Haj Amin al-Husseini, a hardline Palestinian nationalist who met with Hitler in 1941. Following the establishment of Israel, anti-Semitism increased dramatically in the Middle East.

Today, signs of European anti-Semitism are rife across the Arab world. As of 1986, there were at least nine Arabic translations of the “Protocols of the Elders of Zion.” Arab media routinely use anti-Semitic imagery and promote conspiracy theories reminiscent of Nazi-era propaganda. Tel Aviv University researcher Esther Webman has documented how leaders of the militant Lebanese group Hezbollah routinely conflate Zionism and Judaism, and Israelis and Jews, implying that resistance to Israel is part of the long history of opposing the Jewish quest for world domination. According to the ADL, the Middle East scores highest in global surveys of anti-Semitic sentiment, with an estimated 200 million people there harboring anti-Semitic attitudes.

Anti-Zionism and Anti-Semitism

Anti-Israel sign at a demonstration in Melbourne, Australia, protesting Israeli military action in Gaza, Jan. 4, 2009. (Wikimedia Commons)

As explicit anti-Semitism faded in Europe in the years immediately after the Holocaust, and as the State of Israel, established in 1948, demonstrated its military strength and began drawing criticism for its occupation of lands with Arab populations, some Jews began to argue that opposition to Zionism was a new form of anti-Semitism. This concept gained wider currency in the late 20th and early 21st century, as criticism of Israeli policies toward the Palestinians intensified, prompting international campaigns to isolate Israel politically and boycott it economically. Proponents of this view argue that while criticism of Israeli policies is valid, certain extreme forms of criticism — such as the rejection of Israel’s right to exist or singling out Israel for severe reprobation while ignoring the human rights abuses of its neighbors — can be anti-Semitic.

The U.S. State Department in 2007 determined that demonizing Israel, comparing its actions to the Nazis, denying its legitimacy, and singling it out for excessive criticism are all contemporary manifestations of anti-Semitism. Critics of this definition have accused the Jewish community of using that charge to stifle legitimate criticism of Israel.

Some Arabs have also contested the use of the term anti-Semitism to refer solely to Jews, arguing that as speakers of a Semitic language, they are “Semites” as well.

Anti-Semitism Today

A sign at Hebrew Union College-Jewish Institute of Religion in Cincinnati vandalized with a swastika in 2016.

In the 21st century, there is ample evidence that anti-Semitism is again on the rise. Acts of violence against Jews and Jewish institutions, the persistence of anti-Semitic beliefs about Jewish power and the rise of political parties that traffic in explicitly anti-Semitic rhetoric and ideas, particularly in Europe, are all indications of persistent anti-Semitism.

Mostly consigned to the political fringes since the Holocaust, far-right European political parties have made significant electoral gains in recent years. In Hungary, the Jobbik party, whose leader in 2012 said Jews were national security risks who should be registered, is currently the country’s third largest party. Greece’s Golden Dawn party, whose leader uses the Nazi salute and has called the Greek government a “pawn of International Zionism,” is currently the country’s third largest. The National Front party in France, long stigmatized as harboring Holocaust deniers and anti-Semites, is polling stronger than ever in the run-up to the 2017 presidential election. Even in Germany, which has been especially vigilant about right-wing politics since Nazism’s defeat, the Alternative for Germany party only narrowly missed winning seats in parliament in 2013 and has since surged in national polling.

Moreover, surveys show that classically anti-Semitic views remain common. According to the Anti-Defamation League, a majority of adults in Greece, and more than one-third in France, harbor anti-Semitic beliefs, including that Jews have too much power in business and too much influence over American politics. Over 30 percent of Americans believe Jews are more loyal to Israel than to their home country. In the Middle East, the numbers are dramatically higher, with more than 80 percent of the population of some countries harboring anti-Semitic attitudes, according to the ADL.

Jews continue to be the targets of violence, sometimes by Muslim extremists in retaliation for Israeli military actions. In 2012, A French Muslim shot and killed four people, including three children, at a Jewish school in Toulouse, France. In 2014, four people died when a French Algerian man opened fire at the Jewish Museum of Belgium in Brussels. In 2015, two days after the killing of 12 people at the Charlie Hebdo satirical magazine in Paris, an allegiant of the Islamic State killed four people at a kosher supermarket in the French capital.

Meanwhile, anti-Semitic incidents have been on the rise in the United States as well. In 2014, a former white nationalist leader killed three people in a pair of shootings at a Jewish community center and retirement community in Kansas. According to the FBI, Jews were by far the largest target of religiously motivated hate crimes in the United States in 2015, accounting for 52 percent of victims. In 2016, Jonathan Greenblatt, the leader of the Anti-Defamation League, said American Jews have not seen as much anti-Semitism in public discourse since the 1930s.

The ADL and many other Jewish groups have raised concerns that the election of President Donald J. Trump in November 2016 has emboldened those of his supporters who are anti-Semitic — and have criticized him for being slow to condemn anti-Semitism. On multiple occasions since Trump’s election, scores of American Jewish community centers have received bomb threats, and in February and March of 2017 vandals toppled hundreds of headstones in Jewish cemeteries in Philadelphia and St. Louis. Trump has repeatedly insisted, however, that he is not anti-Semitic, noting that his daughter is a convert to Judaism and that he staunchly supports the State of Israel.

Add it down

ADD

Sweating
bastardized thing
I never take too little
always surplus
It’s not the explosions and elections
but the daily work

adding up
ants hacking Nuclear reactor
married to
the way
I saw you
kiss her, your skin in the moon.

Our superstitions
entrails
flocks
Flagellations
favorite socks
some line of truth lives there
watching, purple eyes
smiling, approving
as she combs out her hair.

I cannot be simple enough to see what I know
I’m a spirit encurtained
veiled, chattering, enshadowed
but I know all this too
katana, the weight beneath my cloak
last vision of you
Keep me much like a god
as i sleep in the dark
the only fire I need
I got in my heart.

Some of us
were just born in the wrong dimension
and the lives we live,
we live
cause we need them.
*
**

*(or “cause we’re quickened’)
**SO remember, nay recognize,
That magic is real
Spells all about me
Inside, lunging
ready to meal.

prophetic novels

“Blade Runner,” the movie based on Philip K. Dick’s 1968 novel “Do Androids Dream of Electric Sheep?,” takes place in a futuristic November 2019. In reality, replicants and floating cars have failed to materialize. Compare that to Margaret Atwood’s “The Handmaid’s Tale,” which, when it was published in 1985, was deemed “powerless to scare,” according to one New York Times critic. At the time, the idea of global pandemonium seemed dubious, even in fiction. Live Aid had united billions, NASA was eyeing Mars and on-screen, John Hughes freed teenagers from their trappings. The gloom of the Cold War seemed to be lifting. And yet, almost 35 years later, here we are in a dystopian patriarchy.

Clairvoyance is a hit-and-miss aftereffect of writing stories. Arthur C. Clarke would be heartbroken to know that the closest we’ve come to space tourism is Elon Musk, but Mary Shelley might rejoice in the news that, 136 years after “Frankenstein,” doctors would perform the first successful kidney transplant.

It’s not often a writer can throw a dart into the future and hit treble 20. Here are six who did. (Caution: spoilers.)

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The Victorian mystery that predicted trolling
“The Invisible Man,” by H.G. Wells

Weapons experts could argue that Wells’s “War of the Worlds” was his most prescient book, imagining hordes of Martians armed with chemical weapons and invasive plant life. But that book’s predecessor, 1897’s “The Invisible Man,” truly glimpsed the future. Albino optics student Griffin has perfected a drug that renders him transparent, and he uses it to commit incognito attacks on those around him: burglary, arson, kidnapping. Uncomfortably human, Griffin is a raging voice doomed to feel ignored. His spirit lives on in every expletive posted under local news stories on social media.

An Alexa precursor’s battle cry
“Murmur,” by Tim Earnshaw

Earnshaw’s underrated L.A. trilogy is some of the most enjoyable science fiction ever published. In each installment, the protagonist overhears the theme tune from “Bewitched” and then succumbs to a bizarre phenomenon. The hero of 1999’s “Murmur” is Pacific Coast creative Ken Leverton, who begins to hear objects talking to each other: ATMs, forks and data cables all babble away, while his old suitcase recounts a holiday he’d forgotten. Then the products turn nasty, reveling in their disdain for humans, or “dumb muds” as they call us. Is this what we should expect when Alexa gets sick of repeatedly playing “Mr. Brightside”?

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The aliens with a head start on climate change
“The Kraken Wakes,” by John Wyndham

Master of the cozy catastrophe, Wyndham unknowingly stepped into the 21st century when he penned “The Kraken Wakes” in 1953. Aliens abandon their home planet and relocate to the Mariana Trench, where they begin harvesting cruise ships. When man retaliates with nukes, the invaders begin to blowtorch the polar ice caps. Our heroes, Mike and Phyllis Watson, watch in disbelief as sea levels slowly rise, forcing their retreat to Cornwall (now an island), and causing the British government to flee to Harrogate.

Super-fast forays into dial-up
“Snow Crash,” by Neal Stephenson

When Stephenson unleashed “Snow Crash” in 1992, the term “surfing the Internet” had only just been coined. Certainly, the idea of MMOs (massively multiplayer online games) seemed niche. But that’s what Fortnite is today, and that’s what this book’s Metaverse is, with its billions of users so dependent on computers that they’ve started to succumb to the machines’ viruses. Although not as prophetic as E.M. Forster’s “The Machine Stops” — which, in 1909, may have planted the seed for FaceTime with a mother chatting with a projected image of her faraway son — “Snow Crash” scores extra points for its uncanny vision of private armies and refugees herded onto city-sized rafts.

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Carving up the U.K. 11 years before Brexit
“Divided Kingdom,” by Rupert Thomson

In 2005, the U.K. is “a troubled place, obsessed with acquisition and celebrity.” So the government decides to preemptively “quarter” the country based on temperament in this nightmare tale. Long before Brexit made the country’s constitutional voting map look like Mr. Burns from “The Simpsons,” “Divided Kingdom” split Britain into four colors, each matching one of the vital humors, including green for melancholic, yellow for choleric and blue for phlegmatic. Our hero, Thomas Parry, has been designated sanguine/red blood, but one night finds his chance to jump the border. If this vision of Britain wasn’t isolationist enough, Thomson’s first book, “Dreams of Leaving,” depicts an English village that no one is allowed to leave.

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Making America great, part one
“It Can’t Happen Here,” by Sinclair Lewis

This newspaper has already detailed how Trumpism was cloned from Lewis’s dystopian satire. But frankly, the similarities between Berzelius “Buzz” Windrip, the populist president, and today’s Republican administration are so strong that they’re worth underlining. A leader who brands himself champion of the “Forgotten Men”? Check. Swipes at “highbrow intellectualism”? Deposed allies? Broken electoral promises? It seems it was all there in 1935, right down to the Canadian visa frenzy. “Nineteen Eighty-Four” might be the most lasting political book ever written, but “It Can’t Happen Here” predicted 2016 and beyond with such aplomb that it should be filed under astrology.

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